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*SELF-HELP FROM OTHERS: *

You say I need a job
I got my own business
You wanna know what I do?
None of your fucking business!
Fugazi- "Repeater"

Everything I like to do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Alexander Woolcott

You can only be young once
but you can always be immature.
Dave Barry

It is convenient
that there should be gods,
so let us believe that there are!
Ovid

The colon has more effect than the comma,
less power to separate than the semicolon,
and more formality than the dash.
Strunk and White
The Elements of Style




*BOOKS CURRENTLY READING: *
The Collected Poems of W. B. Yeats
by W. B. Yeats [1996]
Engineering in the Ancient World:
Revised Edition

by J. G. Landels [2000]
The Meters of Greek and Latin Poetry
by James W. Halporn [1994]
European Literature
And the Latin Middle Ages

by Ernst Robert Curtius [1973]
The Jugurthine War and
The Conspiracy of Catiline

by Sallust [1963 translation]
Introduction to Manuscript Studies
by Raymond Clemens [2007]
Anthology of European Romantic Poetry
by Michael Ferber [2005]

*BOOKS COMPLETED: *
summer 2005
The Aeneid
by Vergil [trans. 1981]
Romaji Diary and Sad Toys
by Takuboku Ishikawa [1909 & 1912]
Greece in the Making: 1200-429 BC
by Robin Osborne [1996]
Spectacles of Death in Ancient Rome
by Donald G. Kyle [1998]
Roman Aqueducts and Water Supply
by A. Trevor Hodge [1992]
fall 2005
What's The Matter With Kansas?
by Thomas Frank [2004]
Maus II
by Art Spiegelman [1986]
Sapphics Against Anger
by Timothy Steele [1986]
The Diamond Age
or A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer

by Neal Stephenson [1995]
The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire
by Edward Gibbon
[abrdg. 1987]
spring 2006
Law, Sexuality, and Society:
The Enforcement of Morals in Classical Athens

by David Cohen [1991]
Kosmos: Essays in Order,
Conflict and Community in Classical Athens

edited by Paul Cartledge, Paul Millett
and Sitta von Reden [1998]
summer 2006
As The Romans Did: A Sourcebook
In Roman Social History (Second Edition)
by
Jo-Ann Shelton [1998]
Franz Kafka: The Complete Stories
by Franz Kafka [trans. 1971]
Understanding Greek Vases:
A Guide to Terms, Styles, and Techniques

by Andrew J. Clark, Maya Elston,
and Mary Louise Hart [2002]
The Annals of Imperial Rome
by Tacitus [trans. 1956]
Four Plays By Aristophanes
by Aristophanes [trans. 1961/1962/1964]
Early Greek Vase Painting
by John Boardman [1998]
The Iliad
by Homer [trans. 1974]
The Reign of the Phallus:
Sexual Politics in Ancient Athens

by Eva C. Keuls [1985]
Crabwalk
by Günter Grass [2002]
The Picture of Dorian Gray
by Oscar Wilde [1891]
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
by James Joyce [1916]
The Poetry of Friedrich Nietzsche
by Philip Grundlehner [1986]
Ancient Greek Laws: A Sourcebook
by Ilias Arnaoutoglou [1998]
Pu der Bär
by A. A. Milne [deutsch edition: 1973]
Interpreting Greek Tragedy:
Myth, Poetry, Text

by Charles Segal [1986]
Greek Tragedy
by Erich Segal [1983]
Revenge in Attic and Later Greek Tragedy
by Anne Pippin Burnett [1998]
The Birth of Tragedy
by Friedrich Nietzsche [1871]
fall 2006
Art and Experience in Classical Greece
by J. J. Pollitt [1972]
The Oresteia
by Aeschylus [date forgotten]
Greek Sculpture: The Late Classical Period
by John Boardman [1995]
The Sculptures of the Parthenon:
Aesthetics and Interpretation

by Margaretha Rossholm Lagerlöf [2000]
The Decline and Fall of Virgil
in Eighteenth-Century Germany
THE REPRESSED MUSE

by Geoffrey Atherton [2006]
The Odyssey
translated from Homer by George Chapman [1614]
The German Tradition of Psychology
in Literature and Thought, 1700-1840

by Matthew Bell [2005]
Sixty Poems of Martial, in translation
by Dudley Fitts [1967]
Fourth-Century Styles in Greek Sculpture
by Brunilde Sismondo Ridgway [1997]
Mass and Elite in Democratic Athens:
Rhetoric, Ideology, and the
Power of the People

by Josiah Ober [1989]
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
by Jonathan Safran Foer [2005]
spring 2007
The Craft of Poetic Speech in Ancient Greece
by Claude Calame [1995 English translation]
Allusions and Intertext:
Dynamics of Appropriation in Roman Poetry

by Stephen Hinds [1996]
summer 2007
The History of the Peloponnesian War
by Thucydides [431 BCE]
The Stranger
by Albert Camus [1942]
The Bell Jar
by Sylvia Plath [1963]
Dubliners
by James Joyce [1914]
Illuminations
by Walter Benjamin [1969]
Oedipus at Colonus:
Sophocles, Athens, and the World

by Andreas Markantanotos [2007]
Human, All Too Human
by Friedrich Nietsche [1878]
Ovid- The Erotic Poems
translated by Peter Green [1982]
Candide
by Voltaire [1759]
The Sorrows of Young Werther
by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [1774]
fall 2007
Choke
by Chuck Palahniuk [2001]
Thus Spoke Zarathustra
by Friedrich Nietzsche [1883]
The Cambridge Companion to Greek Tragedy
edited by P. E. Easterling [1997]
A Poetry Handbook
by Mary Oliver [1994]
The Latin Sexual Vocabulary
by J. N. Adams [1982]
spring 2008
Word Order in Greek Tragic Dialogue
by Helma Dik [2007]
Wintering
by Kate Moses [2003]
A History of Greek Literature:
From Homer to the Hellenistic Period

by Albrecht Dihle [1991]
Njal's Saga
by author unknown
Brave New World
by Aldous Huxley [1932]
Gorgias
by Plato
The Saga of the Volsungs
by author unknown
The Poetic Edda
by author unknown [various dates]
Reflections:
Essays, Aphorisms, and
Autobiographical Writings

by Walter Benjamin [1978]
Doctor Faustus
by Christopher Marlowe [1592]
The Nibelungenlied
by an unknown poet [1200]
Reading Greek Tragedy
by Simon Goldhill [1986]
Phaedrus
by Plato
The Power of Images
in the Age of Augustus

by Paul Zanker [1988]
Caesar's Civil War
by William W. Batstone
and Cynthia Damon
[2006]
Caesar: The Civil War
translation by John Carter [1998]
summer 2008
Before You Leap:
A Frog's-Eye View of Life's
Greatest Lessons

by Kermit the Frog [2006]
Edda
by Snorri Sturluson [1220]
Selected Poems
by T. S. Eliot [1930]
The Elements of Style Illustrated
by Strunk and White [1929]
100 Years of Solitude
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez [1967]
Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker
by Dorothy Parker [1996]
Collected Poems
by Emily Dickinson []
Byron's Poetry
by George Gordon, Lord Byron []
Small Gods
by Terry Pratchett [1994]
Memories of My Melancholy Whores
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez [2004]
On The Road
by Jack Kerouac [1951]
fall 2008
Greek Love Reconsidered
by Thomas K. Hubbard [2000]
On Translating Homer
by Matthew Arnold [1862]
The Invention of Love
by Tom Stoppard [1998]
Erotic Tales of Medieval Germany
by Albrecht Classen [2007]
Long, Long Ago
by Alexander Woollcott [1943]
In the Vineyard of the Text:
A Commentary to Hugh's Didascalicon

by Ivan Illich [1996]
The Communist Manifesto
by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels [1847]
Selected Poems
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning [1988]
Textual Criticism
by Paul Maas [1958]
Medieval Studies: An Introduction
(Second Edition)

edited by James M. Powell [1992]
Juvenal: The Sixteen Satires
translated by Peter Green [1974]
Latin Paleography: Antiquity
and the Middle Ages

by Bernhard Bischoff [1979]
Less Than Zero
by Bret Easton Ellis [1985]
The Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm
translated by Jack Zipes [2003]
Old Christmas
by Washington Irving [1819]
spring 2009
Heinrich von Kleist: Plays
edited by Walter Hinderer [1982]
East of the Sun
and West of the Moon

illustrated by Kay Nielsen [1914]
The History of Make-Believe:
Tacitus on Imperial Rome

by Holly Haynes [2003]
The Pooh Perplex
by Frederick Crews [2003]
Over to You: Ten stories
of fliers and flying

by Roald Dahl [1946]
Pride and Prejudice
by Jane Austen [1813]
The History of Sexuality, Volume I:
An Introduction

by Michel Foucault [1976]
The History of Sexuality, Volume II:
The Use of Pleasure

by Michel Foucault [1985] The History of Sexuality, Volume III:
The Care of the Self

by Michel Foucault [1980]
1976 The Sandman: Endless Nights
by Neil Gaiman [2003]
The Poems of Wilfred Owen
collected by Jon Stallworthy [1986]
Wykked Wyves and the Woes of Marriage:
Misogamous Literature From Juvenal to Chaucer

by Elizabeth M. Makowski and Katharina M. Wilson [1990]
Good Omens: The Nice
and Accurate Prophecies
of Agnes Nutter, Witch

by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman [1990]
Breakfast at Tiffany's
by Truman Capote [1950]
Greek Word Order
by K. J. Dover [1960]
Caesar's Calendar: Ancient Time
and the Beginnings of History

by Denis Feeney [2007]
Latin Language and Latin Culture
from ancient to modern times

by Joseph Farrell [2001]
Old Christmas
by Washington Irving [1824]
The Annals
by Tacitus, A. J. Woodman trans. [2004]
40 Short Stories:
A Portable Anthology, Second Edition

by Beverly Lawn [2004]







HAUNTS:
Archaeology
Get Fuzzy

*TASKS: *
:: read another book ::
:: study, like a good egg ::

STRIKE THAT- REVERSE IT:

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Of course, I did not create this template myself. These people did:

EyeForBeauty logo


Wo Liegt Es?
Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Gestern habe ich mich selbst gebräunt. Meiner Sonnenbrand ist scharlachrot. Es tut mir weh. Der Sonnenbrand war aber nötig, weil meine Ärme sind halb-weiß und halb-braun verfärbt.

Draußen gibt es viel Donner und Regnen. Ich hoffe, daß diesem Bau vom Blitz getroffen werden. Heute habe ich den erste Tag der Entomologie. Ich haße die Schule.

Yesterday I finally met with Dr. Lavigne about having him fill the "professional reference" section of my financial aid appeal forms. The financial aid advisor I had met with specified I needed a referral from my "lawyer, pastor, employer... any professional, really..." Considering this, I asked, "...would my undergraduate advisor work?" She replied in the affirmative. Dr. Lavigne did attend a Catholic high school, and he has his doctorate, so surely he qualifies.

When I caught up with him, he was outside the foreign languages building, smoking a cigarette after having returned from lunch. School not beginning officially until today, he wore a (for him) more regular ensemble: a grey Old Navy t-shirt, sand-coloured camouflage cargo shorts, the ever-present chain wallet, and yellow flip-flops.

I love Dr. Lavigne.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 2:38 AM]



I'll Be Your Huckleberry
Monday, May 29, 2006

Bianca has posted a challenge:

This is how it works: Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter in a blog entry, including an explanation of what the word means to you and why, and then pass out letters to those who want to play along.

I have been given the letter "I":

ichthyosaur Boo and I engaged in a lengthy colloquoy one afternoon, in which we discussed our mutual anxiety for answering the question "How are you?" Most people expect no real response, and I typically answer "well," in curt manner, because, though mine is a polite enough and generally fitting answer, people more usually expect something along the lines of "good" or "great". But if caught in a mood, and depending upon to whom it is addressed, I might reply with something such as, "I haven't been eaten by a dinosaur." In my explanation to Boo, I said, "I view life as one long, unending nightmare. Unless I somehow wake up, when someone asks me how I am, I will always respond from this perspective." Ergo, one should not view my mood as a necessarily negative one, if I answer, "I haven't been eaten by a dinosaur," because if I haven't been eaten by a dinosaur, then I'm actually faring rather well, considering that my life is a never-ending nightmare. Anyhow, an ichthyosaur cannot eat me.

irascibile The mood in which I shall most likely find myself during Latin class this fall is one of irascibility, simply because my six or seven other classmates (with the lone exception of a religious studies student) are girls. They giggle and like to enjoy themselves. I, however, just want to parse things. I am no better a student than any one of them, but I require complete silence and stillness in order to concentrate, because I have the attention span of Daffy Duck.

Ira In either eighth or ninth grade, I accompanied The Father as his date when he received a ring for having served with his company for twenty years. The reception was held at a barbecue restaurant in Houston somewhere, so after dinner each employee got up from his or her seat when called to the front and stood there for a moment or two. During The Father's moment or two, a couple of his buddies poured beer in the ice cream dessert he had left sitting at his place. The Father returned, dipped his spoon into what he innocently supposed to be vanilla ice cream (ignorant entirely of the laughter his friends and I were suppressing), and gagged. One of the pranksters was named Mark, to my recollection, and the other, an older gentleman, had been introduced to me as "Ira".

igneous In eighth grade science class I recall having watched a hilarious, cheesy video about igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary rock formations. I had another science teacher as my study hall monitor that year, and I believe we watched the video again during her period one especially unproductive afternoon, but this time on demand.

ignoramus I feel "ignoramus" universally serves to describe nearly everyone I have met upon moving to Lubbock, Texas.

ignominious Edward V. Gibbon used several words regularly to describe people and events when he wrote The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. He found many people, places, and things "ignominious".

irgendwo The German word for "somewhere" has for some unbeknownst reason a certain appeal I cannot articulate fully, as with the German word for "potatoes" (die Kartoffeln).

ignited In St. Louis the year after high school I lived for a time with my aunt, Laura. She loves scented candles. One afternoon I heard her come in from shopping, and a short time later, I smelled cake baking. I stomped up the stairs and cried giddily, "Aunt Laura, Aunt Laura, what kind of cake did you bake me?! When will it be ready?" She raised an eyebrow and pointed, bemused, toward a lit cookie-scented candle set on the coffee table. My shoulders limped, and I skulked back down the stairs, my excitement having been ignited and just as quickly extinguished forever.

Isaiah In sixth grade I had social studies class seated across from a Mormon boy, "Isaiah". He had starey blue eyes and very light blond hair, as, I believe, his older brothers did. Anyhow, I am still attached to his name, the sound of which I rather like.

incantation inthetimeofchimpanzeesiwasamonkey butaneinmyveinsandimouttocutthejunkie withtheplasticeyeballsspraypaintthevegetables dogfoodskullswiththebeefcakepantyhose killtheheadlightsandputitinneutral stockcarflaminwiththeloserinthecruisecontrol babysinrenowiththevitamindgotacoupleofcouchessleeponthelovesear someonekeepssayiniminsanetocomplainaboutashotgunweddingandastainonmyshirt dontbelieveeverythingthatyoubreathe... I no longer pay attention to the lyrics of this Beck song; I always repeat them as a mindless incantation of crazy rock 'n' roll spirits.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:04 PM]



Will Your Connection To Yourself Remain?

I read Schliemann again through a good portion of the morning shift; after ten I shall return to the Lauree Lair to continue reading until the student recreation center opens. I might swim after I ride Dieter and Javier, for surely people spend Memorial Day... not swimming...

I rather wish Civil War veterans were still around, but I suppose they are extinct. Now one must make do with World War II. I found My War by Andy Rooney, of all distinguished United States veterans, to be quite good. I received his book in high school for some birthday or Christmas. Then I went on an "autobiography kick" of sorts, reading works about Harpo Marx, Groucho Marx, Malcolm X, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

From a sociological studies perspective The Autobiography of Malcolm X is most interesting, but I consider Harpo Speaks! my favorite of this genre, because his narrative is incidentally telling of an era about which I know even less of than the sixties. In the duration of a week of their childhood, the Marx brothers did more stuff than I expect to do in a lifetime. It forces me to consider quitting school, as I won't ever make money, anyhow.

Take the quiz:
Which Victoria's Secret Angel are you?

Tyra Banks
You are easygoing, sweet, and care for others!

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 7:17 AM]



Massive Overhaul
Sunday, May 28, 2006

I decided to squander my time at the office this evening with the making of revisions to the weblog. First, I replaced the rose-hued text with greys and blues, which appear more suitable with the images and displace that uncomfortable awareness of my feminity when I view the page. Then I copied the source for a scrollbar code and replaced the text therein with various quotes, ostensibly to give the reader a sense of my personality and awareness of diverse subjects.

These tasks having been completed, I endeavoured then to change the hover colour for every "friend" link, but none of my entries worked, and I abandoned the attempt with the intent to look up codes later. I shall probably spend the rest of the shift poring through weblogs and updating those links again. I had been reading Schliemann, but have forsaken him in favour of more mindless doings. But when they are complete, I will feel most satisfied.


Lauree --
[noun]:A master of storytelling
'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 6:00 PM]



Dead Bug Body On The Windowsill

Yesterday I again engaged in little fruitful activity, besides continuing to read through Schliemann. Pages one hundred sixty-two and one hundred sixty-three (die Seiten einhundertzweiundsechszig und einhundertdreiundsechszig) contain one line of text at the top, with the rest of the pages consumed by a massive footnote about the result of Herodotus' consultation with some priests about an alternative version of Aeneas' story (i. e., he never left the site of Troy, but continued to rule in the area over the population of Trojans remaining). I question the purpose of a footnote longer by pages in length than the text above, but I did find the diminished text somehow easier to read.

Around one this afternoon I have a date with Sharada to watch Suicide Club, a Japanese film I found a couple of years ago at Blockbuster and neglected to return. To an American the plot makes little sense, since the symbolism is Shinto/Buddhist, am meistens, but the level of gratuitous violence is high enough that anyone this side of the Pacific should still enjoy the film.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 5:15 AM]



All My Toys Are Sad
Friday, May 26, 2006

After realizing, somewhat belatedly, that I could save nearly a thousand dollars this fall if I audit Greek and Latin, I feel slightly reassured that I might be able to afford tuition for the other two classes in which I must enroll. If this strategy works as well next spring, with a scholarship covering my German class, I might thereby avoid paying tuition entirely (though fees will surely be incurred).

with Berna, December 2005


This leaves me to work insanely both semesters, at a miserable, mindless job whereinwhich I will waste about forty hours of my life every week, in order to cover room charges. Nevertheless, my sudden enlightenment has relaxed my mood somewhat, at least momentarily. Concerns about how to pay for two essentially worthless degrees consume my over-tired, slightly mushy brain sometimes, to the point that I do not sleep well, even clutching Kermie.

Otherwise, at the moment I might not have much to legitimately complain about (though I would regardless inveigh against something or other). Minus work and one class each semester, summer provides the hours required to catch up on reading and playing with friends. According to Facebook, I am on officially friendly terms with at least two hundred fifty people, but I never have enough available time to see any of them, unless in passing. I am determined to rock climb with Sharada regularly, to swim with Jenni (until she leaves in June), to play racquetball with Bianca, and to engage in much movie-watching with Rachel, Christina, and Adrian. That covers six of two hundred fifty. Most of the others must continue to content themselves with the attention of their families and other friends.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 10:27 PM]



Du Sollst Die Schafe Jagen

My cell phone battery has yet to arrive. The payment posted the nineteenth, so I suppose I might give it ten days to be delivered before I become twitchy.


The wing of the dorm in which I reside

Sometime Wednesday I finally finished reading all of Franz Kafka's short stories (the book having been buried for some time) and the sourcebook April sent. Since I have been plowing through Ilios: The city and country of the Trojans, Heinrich Schliemann's publication of his doings at Troy up to 1879. I transversed the autobiographical narrative easily enough, but as he began to describe minute rivulets and the composition of clays and grains of sand, my attention admittedly waned.

Schliemann quotes extensively the ancient sources, particularly from the Iliad itself, but also from Strabo (mostly) and Pliny the Elder (less often). Sometimes the Greek text is more interesting, despite my comprehension of usually about five percent of it (select adverbs and prepositions). I need to develop a schedule for the summer about how I am to continue studying Greek and Latin in particular (German taken care of mostly through "Deutschercize"). In August it will have been eight months since I have even glanced at any Latin, so a thorough review is most assuredly in order. I will be a busy bee.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 2:44 AM]



Little Turk Or Japanee
Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I have spent the past weeks since finals concentrating on various inane activities to avoid over-stressing about my dire financial predicament. I bought body lotion that smells like oatmeal cookies. When I lather it over my body, it makes me want to eat myself. Was noch? I anticipate a trip sometime tomorrow to donate plasma. That supposedly takes about two hours the first time, so I will need to bring a book (or anything to distract me from the indigent Lubbockites).

Tamme, the new head of Deutscher Klub, caught me on Dieter again this morning to notify me of a meeting he scheduled for next week. He and Kuebler (the vice president; in my mind I call him "The Kuebler Elf") are persistent little guys, and I am glad they decided to run things. I loathe responsibility. Next year I have no official capacity and therefore no official obligations. This past year we had a fabulous t-shirt fiasco, whereinwhich the club supposedly ordered some, but received no verification that they would be printed with future reimbursement. It was close to the end of the year before finalizations were finalized, and I think Tamme and The Kuebler Elf are currently working out the order.

Otherwise, I am keeping the office computer open as I await a reply from an e-mail I sent Dr. Lavigne. Meanwhile I am reading. I need to read all the books I bought when I lived in St. Louis and worked next to Borders.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 11:40 AM]



Intense Heat In Housing And Residence Life
Monday, May 22, 2006

This afternoon I accompanied Bianca to the mall as she shopped for clothes to wear at a future educators conference she attends in San Antonio later this week. I approved of her purchases. We then decided to make our one and only night out this summer (for we must both be frugal) to The Olive Garden, she eating ziti and I eating some chicken-and-mushrooms dish. For dessert we traveled to Sonic for mountain blasts (she had M&Ms, I had Oreo). Consequently, my tummy hurts. Tomorrow I might lie abed all day.

As I scraped the whipped cream off the Oreo blast, I commented, "I don't know why I'm friends with you, Bianca. I hate everything you like." She watches reality television, enjoys chic flicks genuinely, and listens to a lot of "pretty white kids with problems" music. Nevertheless, I find her somehow charming and am glad to have her around to balance out the other people we work with this summer.

Several of my friends graduated this semester or plan to transfer elsewhere next fall. Jenni, my swimming buddy, moves to Houston in the middle of the summer to begin a marketing internship. The Classics students who don't irritate me already left (except Sharada, who leaves at the end of the summer). I did not grant any of these people express permission to abandon me in the armpit of America. I loathe this town, with its scorching sun, tumbleweeds, gap-toothed natives, dust storms, and complete lack of a drainage system, more with each second spent here. Had I a truck and any amount of money, I would have transfered, myself.

I am grateful, however, for the spattering of friends left. Many of them shan't return until fall, but there are enough who live here or work here to keep me occupied. I already miss Rebekah, who I have known since we were ten. She left sometime this morning to study in Norway for the next two months. I am glad she scraped enough pennies to go; she deserves the "away from Lubbock" time.

I finally finished updating web page links of people I know from Facebook or My Space. Despite not seeing or conversing with many of them regularly, I like to peek in at other people's lives every couple of days or weeks or months. If it doesn't keep me entertained, it keeps me intrigued.

I find them hideous, but I finally set up a My Space page at my older sister's behest. I try to use it to talk to my younger siblings, who I haven't seen in a year and-a-half. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I do miss the little hoodlums, but I cannot afford to travel or call. When I lived at home, besides minor, personal annoyances, I resented that I was expected to raise the mongoloids, practically, since The Father and my older sister seemed to make themselves as scarce as humanly possible. I do not want to wait for them each to graduate high school before I get to know them again. But oh, well. The Father told me he wanted to get rid of me, and that he certainly has accomplished.

Ich möchte gern ein Eis.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 6:34 PM]



The Honey Pot Is Empty
Sunday, May 21, 2006

I feel moderately accomplished, for I read this morning for a couple of hours before noon, when I trod downstairs to the basement office to provide minimal help with creating bulletin board postings. Each wing contains about twenty-two boards to fill (forty-three total), but this massive undertaking was greatly facillitated by the swift manuevering of Bianca, who appeared thirty minutes prior to the rest of us in order to cut the print-outs we had made yesterday.

I glued some things and cut a few strips of paper. I should quit school to become a kindergarten teacher.

Tonight I might walk to the ice cream shop with my boss, Keilah. I might end up eating ice cream. In fact, the probability that I shall consume ice cream as daylight wanes is very high. But beginning tomorrow, I will exercise regularly and eat healthfully.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 5:08 PM]



Meine Beine Tuten Mir Weh
Friday, May 19, 2006

Yesterday Jenni and I swam kickboard laps at the student recreation center, but, as I neglected to stretch either before or after, today my poor little legs ache tremendously. I therefore did not work out as I had intended, but I suppose my legs needed the break, anyhow. I spent the entire morning at ice-breaking seminars with the housing department. Tomorrow we run through essentially the same routine, which I do not anticipate with much enthusiasm. I will spend most of my waking hours this summer surrounded by the same five or six people and would much rather skip the whole "let's learn to work together!" bit.

The past several days I have been tearing through the book April sent. It entertains me well enough, though the author's comments and footnotes seem pointless at times.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 6:37 PM]



Ich Habe Geschwimmt
Wednesday, May 17, 2006

You Are Marcia Brady

Confident yet kind. Popular yet down to earth. You're a total dream girl.
You've got the total package - no wonder everyone's a little jealous of you.


Over the past week I have been a busy bee, with little time or desire to update the weblog. I received my tax refund a few days ago and have already splurged most of it away as my summer expenditure allotment. Most of this moolah went toward the following:
two pairs of underwear
four summery shirts
oatmeal cookie body wash
a cell phone battery
The remainder will be applied toward summer school textbooks, with my last Sam's Place paycheck reserved for paying credit card bills. I have already incurred a bad credit report, since my debt ratio is so high. I pay everything on time, of course, but that merely whittles down the mound. I must wait until I am certain I can afford fall tuition, room, and board before I attempt to pay anything off completely. The financial aid office is not particularly forthcoming with information. Ich haße mein Leben.

You Are Gonzo the Great

"Is something burning in here? Oh, it's just me."
You're a total nutball who will do anything for attention.
The first to take a dare, you'll pull almost any stunt.
You're one weird looking creature, but your chickens don't mind!

My summer employment contract (and, coincidentally, my summer meal plan) begins tomorrow, which means I get to eat Chik-Fil-A waffle fries at lunch. Supposedly, my coworkers are to have moved in by five tomorrow evening, but thus far, I am the only person here. The entire staff trains together throughout Friday, with office schedules presumably worked out over the weekend or the beginning of next week. All I currently concern myself with are the office shifts, which will determine my study schedule and when I might work out. I lost another couple of pounds, and would like to develop a routine so that I might continue along this line of un-development.

You Are 7 Up

Understated and subtle, people warm up to you slowly.
But once they're hooked, they can't imagine going back to anyone else!

Your best soda match: Diet Coke

Stay away from: Mountain Dew


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 6:21 PM]



When The Day Of Commencement Commences
Saturday, May 13, 2006

I attended the graduate student commencement ceremony with Adrian yesterday evening. The speeches were bland, as was to be expected, and Adrian had to keep shushing my giggles. I went to CVS yesterday morning for gifts (each person received a beanie Care Bear):
Kyle- Polite Panda
Sharada- Funshine
Tim- Share Bear
Mathew- Perfect Panda
Mathew and Tim did not appear, which means I must hunt them down to give them their Care Bears. The only entertaining things about observing this commencement were my professors, who all looked like freaky, pouty little wizards, and the member of ZZ Top who sedately walked to the stage to receive his Master's degree in Architecture. His mother must be so proud of him.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 12:34 PM]



Raped By The University, Part Twelve
Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I visited the financial aid office to determine whether I need to complete anything else in order to receive a dependent student override, but unfortunately, the lady merely gave me the Department of Education phone number with instructions to call them. I doubt this will prove fruitful. I get the impression I am supposed to do something through the school office, from how I was handled by the last person I met with. Speaking with some government operator won't get me anywhere. Plus, I have to wait until I find a new battery for my phone. No one is online right now to give me a ride. Mein Leben ist die Scheiße.

Rather than scream at the unhelpful financial aid counselor lady, I calmly took the card she gave me and walked out of the office, with determination now to return to the Lauree Lair to read for a while. This is the only day I have had neither school nor work. I packed most of my worldly possessions, and will move into my summer dorm room Thursday afternoon. Then I have five or six days' respite before beginning work with the residence halls. It ought to be easy.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:32 PM]



Wir Lieben Noch
Saturday, May 06, 2006

Rachel insisted I have a drink at lunch yesterday ("Rachel- it isn't even noon! What are you trying to turn me into?!"), so I settled on a Mudslide. I knew the Kahlua would not be bothersome. Afterward we journeyed to WAL*MART for dividers her boyfriend needs for some class project and for a day planner for moi. I had really only needed fillers for the current planner I use, but I saw none of the sheets for that brand there.



Later I took Dr. Reed's exam, which proved much less tedious than I had presupposed. Then I read for two hours (the book April sent) before the Classical Society meeting, at which everyone finally settled on a t-shirt design. At Adrian's behest, Dr. Lavigne found the Cycladic hedgehog/bear to insert below the shirt's Greek quote. I cannot wait for these to come in.



    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 10:35 AM]



When My Body Crashes Against The Rocks
Friday, May 05, 2006

Yesterday at work I felt nauseous, and Mr. Huerta graciously allowed me to vanish. I napped about two hours and felt much better, though I reflected disappointedly that my paycheck will be even lesser. Schade.

Rachel and I had pledged to treat each other to lunch for our birthdays, so we managed to finally set that time for eleven this morning. We will probably go to Applebee's, which serves a muy bueno vegeterian pizza.



When we return to campus I need to study for Dr. Reed's exam, take Dr. Reed's exam, visit my apartment leasing office to finalize a couple of things, then return to the foreign languages building for a Classical Society meeting. Viel Spaß. Afterward I should write two German papers, but I will more than likely spend that time in avoidance of that task.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 7:14 AM]



A Dazzling And Exhaustive Analysis
Wednesday, May 03, 2006


I studied Greek a little less this afternoon, rather devoting about four hours to reading In Search of the Trojan War chapters I had neglected. Dr. Reed claimed she had trouble composing fifty questions for the final exam, which means the topics covered are going to be even more obscure than she usually makes them. Wunderbar.

I began falling asleep as I read, so I chose to pace around and zone out to Oasis for awhile.

Over the summer I hope to study some Catullus readings, with Dr. Lavigne checking my work every week or two. I need to continue Greek as well, so I am keeping the book around to practice unfinished exercises. I might borrow the rest of Luke from the library, as per Dr. Holland's recommendation. Lastly, I must, natürlich, continue German readings. I'll probably read some of the Kurzgeschichten untouched during class, plus random library books. Viel Spaß.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 5:21 PM]



Δειχατε μοι δηναριον
Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The Classical Society members who invest an interest in such things have been scrambling to design a t-shirt. Adrian found a quote about a fox knowing many things, while a hedgehog knows only one thing, which would have been fine enough, except I found it rather too archaic, even for our purposes. During Greek class the other day, Dr. Holland translated something in a passage from the book of Luke as "Show me the money", which of course had me envisioning Tom Cruise shrieking it. I raised the suggestion that we instead print this phrase, with some freaky depiction of Tom Cruise beneath it.



I spent about two and-a-half hours this afternoon studying the Luke passages. Fortunately, most verbs are aorist, with a couple of imperfects, one string of futures, and a few subjunctives peppered here and there. I just need to recognize the vocabulary well enough, in the event Dr. Holland decides to switch tenses. Nouns he typically leaves as they appear in the text.



I had planned to write the last paper for the German portfolio, but Dr. Fry moved the due date back an entire week from its original schedule, which gives me more time to compose something from a coherent outline. The story is only two pages long, but I found elements not discussed during class that I might hit upon. I am going to Google some literary criticism first, though.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 5:31 PM]



Ich Fühle Mich Immer Schlecht
Monday, May 01, 2006

Ich habe vergessen, daß ich das letzt Papier des Semesters schreiben muß. Das ist am Freitag fällig. Am morgen ist das Papier des Seminars fällig. Dann kann ich sicherlich schlafen.

Thursday morning falls my first final, Greek, which I expect shan't be too difficult, for it only covers the passage from Luke we've been working through over the past few weeks. Then on Friday I must take the Trojan War final, which ought to be more difficult to study for. But tomorrow and Wednesday I ought to have ample time to review for both classes. Over the weekend I should study for the German Conversation and Composition final, which occurs Monday. Dann bin ich fertig. My weight training instructor gave the final this morning (a short quiz, basically), and Dr. Fry merely wants the portfolio handed in at some point this week. Relatively speaking, then, I have an easy finals schedule.

This year again I must remain on campus during interim, as probably the only non-graduating student. Last year I bored myself easily, but this time around, more of my friends have apartments and are thus remaining in town most of the summer. I'll have more people to play with me. Bianca and I are already pledged to play racquetball every week.

I need to find someone else, though, to finish teaching me how to rock climb, since Sharada, Tim, and Mathew will probably turn their heels on the cesspool that is Lubbock, Texas, as soon as graduation ceremonies have finished. For graduation I think I'll bake them all something, if I cannot find something personal for each of them. I have ideas of something teaching-related for Tim (he'll be teaching high school Latin somewhere), something climbing-related for Mathew, and something furry and cuddly for Sharada. The fourth Classics graduate student (who is going to Harvard), Kyle, I hadn't really spoken with much until this past month, really, but he's a little sweetie pie, so I'll probably bake him something weird.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 12:57 PM]





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