Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I owe dem Grair Bär a twenty-page term paper Monday morning. To avoid writing it, I have found this to preoccupy my time:
Write the names of the last twenty people who have written on your Facebook wall, and answer the questions below. Then, tag each of them, to be obnoxious.
1. Fisayo Delano
2. Emily Koch
3. Louis Lupinacci III
4. Justin Yost
5. David Booe
6. Megan Nordyke
7. Zach Stephenson
8. George Hawkins
9. Karen Sunday
10. Cody Timmons
11. Duane Helmberger
12. Amber Loeffler
13. Labrador Rodgers
14. Jessica Conejo
15. Jenni Ward
16. Amy Clissold
17. Karen Vasek
18. Devon Stewart
19. Harry Norsworthy
20. Polo
*How did you meet 7?
I believe we met officially when we were in the same homeroom class with Mrs. Kerber in fifth grade, but I saw him around in elementary school before then, probably.
*What would you do if you had never met 18?
I might never have ridiculed Black History Month so guiltlessly.
*What would you do if you dated 15?
I would be black.
*Have you ever seen 17 cry?
No, but I'm certain working at Sam's Place made her want to cry much of the time.
*Would 4 and 16 make a good couple?
No, but they would certainly make an entertaining couple.
*Do you like 19?
I love black people.
*Do you think 13 is attractive?
I have been pining away for Mr. Travis Rodgers from the first day I saw him in Latin class. We have almost nothing in common, he's handsome, older, and married, with children. Which means he's the perfect man for me.
*When was the last time you talked to 9?
Verbally, face-to-face: sometime within the past two months, but I cannot remember specifically. We've written on each other's Facebook walls a couple of times, yesterday most recently.
*Would you ever date 2?
I've considered it, but she's far too pretty. I would only date someone uglier or at the same level as myself.
*Where does 20 live?
I'm not certain, but perhaps at his frat house.
*What is the best thing about 4?
His glasses. They were what first attracted me to him.
*What would you like to tell 10 right now?
That I'm pregnant.
*What is the best thing about 20?
His friendliness- we really have little in common, when I think it over, but Polo is the sort of person one can not have seen for months, but still have something to talk about when we do meet.
*Have you ever kissed 18?
Nope. Kissing is icky.
*What's the best memory you have of 5?
Making fun of customers at work.
*When's the next time you’re going to see 12?
We're not certain- I haven't seen her since I was seven!
*Is 3 pretty?
Yes, if one defines pretty as, "a little on the thick side, pasty of complexion, easy to redden, blonde, wears glasses, has a friendly smile", then Louis Lupinacci III is very pretty indeed.
*What was your first impression of 15?
That I would be working for a flake. And boy, was I right!
*How did you meet 2?
I probably first saw Emily, ever, when she moved to my hometown in fourth grade and sat in line with her class during gym. We probably first dealt with each other when we were both in the fourth grade Spelling Bee. She won, the bitch. I think I placed second, which seems to happen often.
*Is 12 your best friend?
No, but I think I would have considered her my best friend in kindergarten. I was very sad about moving away. She was the only person from when I lived in San Antonio whose full name I could remember, so I Facebook-stalked her a few months ago to find out what happened to her.
*Have you seen 6 in the last month?
Nope. She hides. I hide. We are not clever enough to find each other.
*When was the last time you saw 16?
Too long ago- I cannot remember. It's been months.
*Have you been to 9's house?
"Apartment", yes, several times.
*When is the next time you'll see 10?
I have no idea- perhaps we'll both be around campus during the summer.
*Are you really close to 6?
About certain things- I've had deep conversations with Megan, but we don't see each other enough to know each other really well. She's still pretty high up on my Friend-O-Meter.
*Have you been to the movies with 11?
No, but I'll consider it, if he pays.
*Would you give 13 a hug?
I'd give 13 lots of things- a hug would only be the beginning.
*When have you lied to 17?
Never, that I know of.
*Do you know a secret about 8?
Nope.
*Describe the relationship between 12 and 19.
I doubt Harry and Amber know each other. I would say Harry's probably taller.
*What's your friendship like with 7?
I consider Zach to be the doofy older brother I never had.
*Have you ever danced with 14?
Nope, but I know she likes to dance.
*How long have you known 13?
Two years.
*Does 11 have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Nope.
*Have you ever wanted to punch 17 in the face?
Yes.
*Has 20 met your mother?
Nope- she died when I was thirteen.
*How did you meet 10?
We met when we worked ("work" being a relative term) at Strangle/Murder last summer.
*Have you traveled anywhere with 8?
Nope- we rarely see each other anymore.
*If you gave 4 $100, what would they spend it on?
Something computer or game-related, I would imagine.
*What is your best memory of 1?
Watching Fisayo dance and sing at work always made me tingly.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 9:06 PM]