Saturday, December 31, 2005
The elliptical machine that burns one hundred fifty calories every ten minutes has been stolen by a mean chinga, which means I may either use another machine or read until she vanishes. I lost about three pounds this week, and would like to continue losing the massive poundage accumulated during and after high school.
Last night I found several scholarships I might apply for, but lacked the paper to print out applications. This afternoon's task: visit the grocery store. I also found a summer internship at the Houston Museum of Fine Arts. The $3500 stipend is about what I might earn working full-time at some schmo job over the summer, but, of course, working for a museum would be much preferred for obvious reasons. If accepted, my only foreseeable obstacle would be that of transportation...
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 10:26 AM]
Spanish Is A Lovin' Tongue
Friday, December 30, 2005
I did little today, other than read and ellipticize. This evening I am researching scholarships, again. I applied for everything I might qualify for within my departments (i.e., two scholarships) in addition to the general university scholarship application. Since I won't be filing a FAFSA, more than likely, I obviously wouldn't qualify for government moolah.
The FAFSA business is tricky, for filing one requires garnering income information from The Father and Terri, who are adamantly opposed to helping me do anything, survival-wise (well, I'll amend that just to The Father; Terri does everything she can to help her own kids, because, despite being a little insane, she is not soulless, unfeeling, or irresponsible, which are all characteristics attributable to The Father). Of course, filling out the form requires some amount of time and timeliness, neither of which The Father historically has willfully engaged on my behalf. Complications arise from the fact that neither of us is speaking to the other at the moment, because I do not desire to comply with the stipulations that he places on his love and esteem of me.
He called the week before Christmas, entirely at Terri's behest (once again: she's the one with decent character, not him). He actually demanded that I forget absolutely everything that has occurred before, so that we could start off entirely from this conversation. After I told him I probably couldn't forgive him for certain things, he tried to excuse his behavior, demanded I accept his apology (!), and accused me of being the one who doesn't want to "resolve our problems". He has the arrogance to presume he deserves forgiveness- that I should forgive him for telling me I had a "bad" mother (purposefully, in order to hurt my feelings), or that I should forgive him for promising to put me through college, and then cutting me off entirely just because I don't approve of the notion of letting his new wife do my laundry, take out my bedroom trash, or condescend to tell me how to behave.
In August, he had the nerve to taunt me, when I told him I needed a cosigner to take out loans for college and housing. But now, I am supposed to forgive him for saying, "No one else would cosign for you, because you're a mean, nasty person!" I'm the one who's heartless; I'm the one who's obstinate; and, incidentally, I'm the one who suffers. He loses no sleep whatsoever, while I have anxiety attacks every two or three days, at best. Yesterday I stayed in bed, wide awake, from two until about three-thirty, when I finally tried to distract myself by reading for a couple of hours. He takes nothing seriously, but he expects me to wear a pleasant countenance, to greet him joyously at holidays, to sit at the table with his "perfect" family and pass the food in the correct direction, despite the fact that he refuses to cosign for me to get student loans or for me to rent an apartment.
I have no sanity, I have no money, I might have to drop out of college, I might not be able to find any place decent to live, but
I am supposed to accept Christmas presents from The Fatherwho refuses to ever call me. For the first half of the conversation, I went along; I gave him my latest address; but by the end, I told him exactly where he could send his Christmas package. I told him to grow up. I also believe I used the phrase, "You're full of shit" once (or twice, for emphasis).
Anyway... tuition (with fees and all that other nonsense) plus housing (if I cannot lease an apartment without a guarantor anywhere) per semester amounts to almost more than I make in a year. I can pay for everything- without scholarships, loans, or grants- so long as I don't eat, don't buy shampoo or other toiletries, and ignore my credit bills. But I am not stressed over this. Nope.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 4:17 PM]
Keine Freunden
Thursday, December 29, 2005
I do hope April understands and accepts that if she does not drive or catch a bus to Lubbock, she will not receive the Christmas present I procured for her. Ich bin billig.
Over the past year, the photographer for Gamma Beta Phi has captured my image seven or eight times, at various meetings and events. Below is one of me with my fellow Deutsch enthusiast, Richard, at an animal shelter. Notably, I refused to hold the dog's leash, or to let it touch me.
This took place November nineteenth, the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Later that night, Richard and I indulged in Texas double-Whoppers at Burger King. I contracted food poisoning; Richard was fine.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 10:42 AM]
Ich Bin Hier Allein...
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Admittedly, I have attained the beginning level of stir-craziness. I look forward soon to some relief, however, for Rebekah might be in town New Year's Eve, and everyone else returns intermittently that week. Jenni promised a date, as well, and hopefully, Bianca will return from Las Vegas in time to play some racquetball. Jared, one of my more "useful" (i.e., he gives me rides places) friends, will probably be agreeable to helping me move my stuff back out of the apartment, and then we can go do stuff. He usually comes up with things to do.
I would like as well to discern the whereabouts of my bicycle. I left it, locked securely (or so I thought) in front of a dorm, but checked a week later to find it missing. Perhaps I merely... misplaced it... perhaps on the dresser in my room, or under my bed, or in a desk drawer.
I took a bath. I am clean. But I have no place to go, and no one to impress. In about two hours, I suppose I'll emerge from my mental and physical dins to ellipticize. The only people at the recreation center during the holidays, to note, are The Aged Ones. Most of The Aged Ones use the step machines or bikes, some lift weights, and not a few play racquetball on a frequent basis. Any one of them could beat me up. The Aged Ones make me more nervous than the "hot" girls, in their coordinated little work-out outfits.
I want ice cream.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 10:05 AM]
Drats- Foiled Again
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
I left the apartment at about seven-twenty this morning in order to ellipticize, but the student recreation center does not open until two this afternoon. Scheisse. I walked through and around campus instead, with a detour to Starbucks to spend the last of my cash on a hot chocolate and a maple walnut scone, both of which were sehr gut, und nicht so teuer.
I am subscribed to the online, e-mail version of the Bryn Mawr Classical Review, which sends book reviews once or twice a week that I have not had time to read all semester. Aphrodisias in Late Antiquity and the Vindolanda tablets look interesting, so I am posting the links here that I might access them later. Also, I found something auf Deutsch. Ich verstande ein Paar Wörter, wie "Sie hat sich aus der Arbeit an Aristarch ergeben...". Ausgezeichnet. I intend to explore the University of Leiden, as well, because Dutch is even funnier than Deutsch.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 6:53 AM]
A Numbness In My Fingertips
Monday, December 26, 2005
I decided that tomorrow I would resume my ambitious workout routine (interrupted due to the holiday weekend). I could probably lose between five and seven pounds before school begins, provided I drop the soda pop and avoid the pizza joints lining the streets parallel to the street on which my current residence lies.
I finished the bronchitis inhaler prescription last Monday or Tuesday, so tomorrow or the day afterward I need to visit the doctor again. I also used the medication for my ear infection, but it still feels exactly the same, which would indicate no improvement. Also, I suspect I am allergic to Lubbock, because I have had nocturnal nosebleeds since moving to this desolate wasteland. Perhaps the doctor lady might remedy that irritation.
April, Donna, Jamesey Rooh-Bear, and Sparky might embark on a road trip across west Texas for the purpose of seeing moi very soon. This I would look forward to, especially as it requires no exertion on my part. I wish I could have come down to Katy; I miss Sparky's mother. Momma Sparks is a magnificent hostess. April's parents also lavish an insane amount of attention on me, and I enjoy watching movies or shopping with them. Sparky and April themselves are just sort of there, in the background.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:22 PM]
Poring Pages
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Having updated the links, I thought I might read through some of the weblogs I have not viewed in a while. I usually neglect the ones by the kids with whom I work, for I see them enough to consistently update myself on their doings.
Elliott and Amber recently discussed how they would like their bodies, upon expiration, disposed of. Elliott's sentiments essentially reproduce mine, but Amber also added that the element of guilt disinclines her to be buried, as it imposes constant cultivation upon living relatives.
That sentiment reminds me of the current status of my mother's grave: immediately afterward, The Father set a nice bench in front of the plot, and he planted two crepe myrtles, which he and my sister, Kailey, diligently tended. Her tombstone itself is of a kind unique to the graveyard (in old Katy, by the golf course) and was undoubtedly expensive. It reminds me that burial monuments display as much information about the erector as the deceased. The impish desire creeps sometimes into my mind to plant a sign beside the headstone, reading, "Yeah, but all through junior high and high school, Mark Keith refused to buy his daughter a TI-83 calculator, claiming it was 'extra' and far too expensive." It amuses me to reflect that I would have to die before The Father would lavish any semblance of the attention I require.
A girl I worked with at the beginning of this fall semester (before I returned to Sam's Place, the campus minimart which has become the bane of my existence) commented about the general and almost constant state of stress in which she lives. When speaking with her, though, she seems well-balanced: not overly optimistic, nor cripplingly depressed.
I tend to fall under the latter category, because escape appears impossible. Though I "need" to work right now, I decided I need this break completely, for this past semester I've had three or four miniature breakdowns (in my room, crying on the floor). While ellipticizing a few days ago, I stepped off the machine with tears in my eyes, and not just because I'm still tubby. When I express this to people, I usually feel shallow afterward, since nothing I experience is what I would consider an insurmountable adversity. It distresses me that I am too weak to contend with my obligations.
Jenna Fontenot posted the following senseless, but nevertheless interesting, exercise, which I filled for myself:
Drag Name first pet; first street lived on
"Bullet El Medano"
Movie Star Name paternal grandmother's first name; favorite snack
"Fleta Snickers"
Fashion Designer Name first word seen at left; favorite restaurant
"Subscription St. Louis Bread Company"
"Fly Girl" Name initial of first name; first three letters of middle name
"L. Fra"
Detective Name favorite animal; high school
"Flying Squirrel Katy"
Soap Opera Name middle name; city of birth
"Frances Houston"
Opposite Sex Name father's name; cell phone service company currently used
"Mark Virgin Mobile"
Star Wars Name first three letters of surname, last three letters of mother's maiden name, first three letters of pet's name
"Keiheybul"
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 5:57 PM]
Tommy's Famous Burgers
Imbibing much soda pop yesterday, all this morning I visited the toilet several more times than usual. I arose at about six-thirty, read until eight-thirty, bathed, and checked my e-mails. Around eleven-thirty I consumed an interesting chili-cheeseburger and ordered as well a chocolate shake.
Afterward, I returned to the computer lab to update the friend links on the ol' blog. To confuse myself and others, I gave everyone German names again, many of which I suspect no one really uses anymore. I sincerely doubt the Germans have been naming their kids "Diethelm" or "Gertraud" lately, but I could not resist naming someone "Hieronymus".
Mein Freund, Jeremy, AIMed to notify me he received 501 German Verbs (a gigantic book of conjugated German verbs) for the birth of Jesus. I retorted that I already own it, and am fully capable of conjugating "ich schwitze". I realize now, however, that I haven't looked at that book since I got it this summer (for Eike's class). Mayhaps I'll flip through it this evening, unless there are decent Christmas specials on the television. Last night when I checked, the only movie showing was It's A Wonderful Life, which, though I like it, I have only sat through the whole thing a thousand times previously.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 12:41 PM]
And If You Take Cranberries...
Saturday, December 24, 2005
I've torn through the modern, much-abridged edition of The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire over the past couple of days, with some moderate success in the sense that I am now approximately half-way through it. I just finished reading Gibbon's hilarious invective against monks, whose unsocial nature he particularly deplores. In the course of this reading, I have discovered several words Gibbon repeats at least twice a page each, and which I hope to incorporate in like manner in some future literary or historical work of my own:
rapineI also found the following two passages noteworthy:
appellation
insensibly
sanguine
salutary
temporal
ignominious
prudence
capricious
intrepid
pusillanimous
[page 482] ... a valiant tribe of Caledonia, the Attacotti, the enemies and afterwards the soldiers of Valentinian, are accused, by an eyewitness, of delighting in the taste of human flesh. When they hunted the woods for prey, it is said that they attacked the shepherd rather than his flock; and that they curiously selected the most delicate and brawny parts, both of males and females, which they prepared for their horrid repasts. If in the neighborhood of the commercial and literary town of Glasgow a race of cannibals has really existed, we may contemplate, in the period of Scottish history, the opposite extremes of savage and civilized life. Such reflections tend to enlarge the circle of our ideas; and to encourage the pleasing hope that New Zealand may produce, in some future age, the Hume of the Southern Hemisphere.
[page 484] The inaction of the negroes does not seem to be the effect either of their virtue or of their pusillanimity. They indulge, like the rest of mankind, their passions and appetites, and the adjacent tribes are engaged in frequent acts of hostility. But their rude ignorance has never invented any effective weapons of defense or of destruction; they appear incapable of forming any extensive plans of government or conquest; and the obvious inferiority of their mental faculties has been discovered and abused bu the nations of the temperate zone. Sixty thousand blacks are annually embarked from the coast of Guinea, never to return to their native country; but they are embarked in chains; and this constant emigration, which, in the space of two centuries, might have furnished armies to overrun the globe, accuses the guilt of Europe, and the weakness of Africa.
Ah... the arrogance of the English...
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:31 PM]
A Free Sandwich
Thursday, December 22, 2005
I ellipticized and began to read a book I ordered mit meinem Großvatis book-ordering gift card last Christmas, but completely forgot about. The tummy rumbles, so I am off for a sandwich as I indulge my late reading voracity.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 6:08 AM]
I Forgot I'm Not In Houston Anymore
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Sunday in the Bible Belt blows sehr hart für mich. I journeyed forthward for gifts for Lindsay Sullivan and for April's mommy, but successfully acquired only the latter object, for the business at which I would find something suitable for Lindsay does not open on Sundays.
Around three I ellipticized for an hour, remained at the student recreation center to read a few pages of The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (very much abridged), then ellipticized again for about twenty minutes more for a grand total of one thousand calories burned. Now I feel rather light-headed, so I suppose I'll drink some water and go lie down for a while.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 3:32 PM]
From The Comforts Of Campania
Saturday, December 17, 2005
In order to prepare for the possibility of my K-hole compatriots arriving in the armpit of America after a long trek across the vast emptiness of west Texas, today I am journeying forthward to the mall, which I abhorr absolutely but which provides certain sausages and cheeses for a certain best friend's father, who assuredly deserves a big pile of them. Said best friend might receive something as well, provided I remember her.
Edward Gibbon pens the word "insensibly" insensibly often, but I admire his use of "appellation" in various contexts and I shall endeauvour henceforth to appellate persons and things I used only to call before.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 9:52 AM]
Love For Even The Morbidly Obese
Thursday, December 15, 2005
I bought a Christmas present for The Megabitch this afternoon, which completes the gift-acquisition for my four natural (or so far as I have always been told) siblings, and am now in a small quandry as to whether I ought to send candy or something to Jeremy and Philip. Neither of them would expect anything from me, the hated child, but I do not want to exclude them, either. Perhaps some extravagantly wrapped Toblerones will do.
In the past couple of days, I have kept having to explain why I am not going "home" for Christmas. My reply usually begins, "Because I have arrived at that point in my relationship with my father wherein if I ever see him again, I will murder him with my bare hands." This answer satisfies most people, though some have made the observation that I cannot avoid him all my life. This may well be true, but it is a challenge well worth attempting. Besides, I lived with the Dummkopf eighteen years, and in all that time he did a damned good job of avoiding me, and most of his other responsibilities, so surely, being his daughter, I possess the capacity to do likewise.
Into the evening I shall read, until an 8:00 on-campus performance of Bach's organ works. That should be fun; ich liebe Bach. Es werde lang sein. Tomorrow I shall journey forth to attempt to find a place of temporary employment. I applied online to a few places, but it might be worth trying the establishments around my neighborhood.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:06 PM]
It Would Be My Thighs
Sunday, December 11, 2005
I vacillitate between riding to and from the K-hole with Rebekah, to stay with April and her familia, or remaining the entire break in Lubbock. I would be gone about twelve days, and I am reluctant to leave the Chinese girl (her name is Miaomiao) with whom I am staying by herself that long. Her English comes forth a bit stilted, and she looks forward to conversing with me and thereby improving her English (she don't know me wery well, do she?).
The third roommate, Margarita, left this morning for her native Colombia. She told me learning English from interactions with college students does not work. I responded to this with, "Like, what're ya talkin' about?" But she speaks and understands English well and is pleasantly vocal and outgoing, so I am genuinely sorrowful that she has left and will not return until the day I return to the dorm room.
I believe I did better on this morning's final in ancient gender and sexuality than I did on the previous two exams. We focused less on reading select texts and more on "summing up the semester" via a longer essay as the third component for the final. I chose to write about the topic concerning how the Greeks and Romans applied concepts of sexuality to other aspects of society (art, literature, law, et cetera), with an explication of Hesiod's Theogony as thematically representing male castration anxiety. I also mentioned somewhere a passage in which the author disparaged a prostitute for engaging her lust; he used a form of the verb "bubinare" (to defile with menstrual blood), which I recalled from a footnote and made certain to include parenthetically for a possible "wow-she-remembered-the-original-Latin" point.
Afterward I ate brunch and returned to the dorm for a nap. I then visited the Residence Hall Coordinator to ensure I might move back in two days before the official return date, for the girl I am replacing at the apartment flies in from China the day before the dorms reopen. I ate dinner at Sam's Place and began reading a much-abridged version of The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, with which I am about to vanish again to the apartment.
But first, I shall quickly check online for how I ought to spend mein Großvatis gift.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 12:41 PM]
Aufpissen
I struggled through a nine-page Greek final yesterday afternoon, giving young Mr. Underwood a narrow-eyed glare as I left the room. I memorized participle and verb endings, only to forget most verb endings in the paradigms. I simply could not apply anything in the translation section. I essentiallly guessed at tenses, at least having known the word meanings.
As I studied in the foreign language building this morning for my German final, Mr. Underwood walked up to say smartly, "So, are you going to look at Greek next semester?" I'll give him something to look at.
Der Bonzo structured the German exam mit dem Identifizierung, Ansatz, und ein großes Ansatz, das letzt auf Deutsch oder Englisch sein können. Es war nicht so hart, nur langsam. Jetzt muss ich für die Sexkurs studieren.
Aber jetzt habe ich ein Kopfschmerzen. Ich wurde ein Geschlaff nehmen, aber... soll ich? Die Prüfung ist morgen am 7.30 Uhr. Wurde ich heute Abend nicht schlaffen? Ich weiß nicht. Das saugt. Aber nachdem Prüfung bin ich ewig fertig. Das ist sehr gut.
Meine Deutsch ist sehr kompliziert, ja? Heh-heh.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 12:41 PM]
Das Ist Sehr Wichtig
I took about an hour and fifteen minutes for the seven-thirty morning philosophy exam. I woke up at three, showered, studied, and should have done fine. The first section consisted of two-point identification questions, such as, "What is scientific determinism?" and "What are the modus pollens and modus tollens arguments?". I wrote two thorough sentences for each and should have gotten all ten points. Then I wrote three essays, worth thirty points each. The first two were strong, but with the last woefully underdeveloped, I might receive a "B". I am not, however, overly concerned, for I have a solid "A" in the class otherwise.
Greek presents an entirely different problem. Missing several lectures during the past two weeks severely detriments the accuracy of my translations. Yesterday morning I memorized the approximate fifty-seven verbs I ought to have learned, and for the next few hours I am going through the last several chapter vocabularies, so that I might recognize the noun subjects and objects of said verbs.
I did memorize the masculine, feminine, and neuter singular and plural present active and present passive participle endings, but ten bucks says the young Mr. Underwood will require a declension paradigm involving perfects or aorists, which are similar to the present but have a few weird exceptions that I haven't reviewed yet.
Ich hasse mein Leben.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 12:41 PM]
Five Down
Greek verbs (with some exceptions) contain six principal parts, which must be memorized when learning the vocabulary. As I have not bothered memorizing them, I have spent the past two hours staring at fifty-seven verbs I ought to have learned prior to this time, thirty-six hours before the final. Also, I missed two days of class last week and did therefore neither the homework nor reading of the last few chapters, which detail the use of participles. I nearly always encountered enough difficulties translating Latin participles, ich weiß nicht warum.
Last night, ellipticizing for half an hour, I at least memorized the present active and passive participle endings, which form the basis for the future and past participles that I did not take with me on similar flashcards. So having sweat on the machine for half an hour, listening to Rammstein's Reise, Reise as I squinted across the distance of my outstretched arms at the flashcards propped beside the calories burned/distance moved/time display, I can now with confidence recognize the Greek for "killing", "of killing", "to/for killing", "killing" as a direct object, and "killing" in the vocative.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 12:41 PM]
I'll Still Graduate
Thursday, December 08, 2005
I ellipticized insanely: ninety minutes total, burning twelve hundred calories (in two sessions). Ausgezeichnet. Between I studied some German, but spent about three hours straightening the room so that later I could study (I cannot concentrate with clutter about); move clothes, books, videos, et cetera to the apartment; and clean the room for my community advisor. Jared helped me move stuff to the apartment, then he was hungry, so we went to eat at McAlister's.
Jetzt habe ich Arbeit. Er saugt.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 5:29 PM]
Ich Bin Heute So Ein "Gimp"
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Apparently last night I spent fifty minutes on the elliptical machine working calf muscles that I have never in my entire life used previously. Stair navigation proves nearly impossible, and baby-stepping across campus in thirty-degree weather consumes an undue amount of time. But I burned seven hundred twenty calories in fifty minutes. Ausgezeichnet.
The German review indicates I need only catch up on seven pages of reading from the final portion of the semester, rather than the twenty I had suspected (on account of an absence or two). For Greek I must review absolutely everything. The Latin final consists of book exercises, which might not be difficult but will most assuredly consume a lot of time. I need to outline a two or three-page essay for the ancient sexuality class, besides study material for smaller topic essays. The philosophy final also consists of several essay topic choices, from which I might choose, zum Beispiel, fünf von sieben.
Tomorrow Jared volunteered to help me move my clothes, toiletries, and miscellaneous items to the apartment I am sub-renting für Dezember. Then I should spend the rest of the day completing the Latin final and studying especially for the Greek final. Friday will be devoted to ancient sexuality and German. Saturday and Sunday are for philosophy and more of the languages. This should be a good battle plan, ich denke.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 10:02 AM]
Ich Habe Jetzt Ein Fernsehen!
Monday, December 05, 2005
Meine Freundin, Sharada, hat mir dein Fernsehen gibt[nicht recht... Scheisse...]. It has a thirteen-inch screen and its own remote control. Ausgezeichnet. Ich bin so glücklich.
The final project for my ancient gender and sexuality class consisted of a five-minute oral comparison of a modern song to any ancient text read in class. I used Bloodhound Gang's "Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny" with something Martial wrote about a prostitute named Thais.
Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny
And now ladies and gentlemen, here's the event you've all been waiting for
You came twice last year like a Sears catalogue
'Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg
Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seein' God
'Cause girl I'll get you pantin' like you're Pavlov's dog
Like a DC-10 guaranteed to go down
But baby your black box is the one that I found
I'll give you the gift that keeps on givin' it won't cost ya any money
Then she grabbed me by the ears and said kiss me where it smells funny
So down I go like I'm 2000 Flushes
I can tell I'm doing something right by the way that she blushes
She's the one that's speechless I'm the one that's tongue-tied
She's thinkin' holy mackerel I'm thinkin' tuna on the side
There must be somethin' wrong with Al Pacino's nose
'Cause the "Scent of a Woman" is like rotten tomatoes
Yeah I'm snorkelin' for clams it doesn't matter if I wanna be
Don't come up for air until you kiss me where it smells funny
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base
I can tell that cherry's ripe by the way it tastes
Yeah I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties
And then drink it while I'm eating out down at the Seafood Shanty
Thais Stinks
Thais gives off an odour, not only as bad as that which a miserly fuller's old piss-jar does, but one just now smashed in the middle of the street;
not even as bad as a he-goat fresh from rutting, nor even the mouth of a lion,
not even the pelt seized from a dog from across the Tiber,
not even as bad as a chicken when it putrefies in an aborted egg, nor even as an amphora befouled by rancid fish-sauce.
In order that this stench might seem to come from somewhere else, she alters it: whenever she makes for the baths, once her clothes are off,
she is green with depilatory, or hides herself covered by a clay steeped in vinegar, or is concealed under three or four layers of greasy bean mix.
When she thinks she is made completely safe by these thousand or so tricks, having done everything possible, Thais gives off the smell- of Thais.
I prepared a brief outline about an hour before class, which did no justice to the direction of analysis I took in my mind. I did maintain that the anonymity of the girl in the song made it less of a direct attack on her than to emphasize the weakness of the speaker of the song. Martial's "Thais", contrarywise, exists as an ironic reference to a well-known Greek courtesan (as everyone now understands the reference to Al Pacino). I noted that Al Pacino's name, rather than an identification for the girl, represents some statement about men in general, again rather than Martial's attack of the girl.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:03 PM]
Ich Bin Allein
Saturday, December 03, 2005
| Your Birthdate: April 23 |
 You're not good at any one thing, and that's the problem. You're good at so much - you never know what to do. Change is in your blood, and you don't stick to much for long. You are destined for a life of travel and fun. Your strength: Your likeability Your weakness: You never feel satisfied Your power color: Bright yellow Your power symbol: Asterisk Your power month: May |
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 5:13 PM]
Burschenschaften und Studentenverbingungen
Friday, December 02, 2005
Heute morgen präsentiere ich mein deutsch Projekt über die Burschenschaften. For purposes of extending the time, I included a little quiz in which I ask the class to identify the four traditional areas of study for a German university, based upon random photographs I googled. From work I procured the prizes: giant candy bars. Ausgezeichnet.
My friend, Jared, and I are attending the last Stammtisch this evening, at which I shall use up the remainder of my film. Afterward I should probably make the attempt to read the last philosophy chapter before bedtime. Finals begin (for me) am nächste Samstag, which means I must begin studying tomorrow morning. So many classes for such a small Lauree mind.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 8:24 AM]