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*SELF-HELP FROM OTHERS: *

You say I need a job
I got my own business
You wanna know what I do?
None of your fucking business!
Fugazi- "Repeater"

Everything I like to do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Alexander Woolcott

You can only be young once
but you can always be immature.
Dave Barry

It is convenient
that there should be gods,
so let us believe that there are!
Ovid

The colon has more effect than the comma,
less power to separate than the semicolon,
and more formality than the dash.
Strunk and White
The Elements of Style




*BOOKS CURRENTLY READING: *
The Collected Poems of W. B. Yeats
by W. B. Yeats [1996]
Engineering in the Ancient World:
Revised Edition

by J. G. Landels [2000]
The Meters of Greek and Latin Poetry
by James W. Halporn [1994]
European Literature
And the Latin Middle Ages

by Ernst Robert Curtius [1973]
The Jugurthine War and
The Conspiracy of Catiline

by Sallust [1963 translation]
Introduction to Manuscript Studies
by Raymond Clemens [2007]
Anthology of European Romantic Poetry
by Michael Ferber [2005]

*BOOKS COMPLETED: *
summer 2005
The Aeneid
by Vergil [trans. 1981]
Romaji Diary and Sad Toys
by Takuboku Ishikawa [1909 & 1912]
Greece in the Making: 1200-429 BC
by Robin Osborne [1996]
Spectacles of Death in Ancient Rome
by Donald G. Kyle [1998]
Roman Aqueducts and Water Supply
by A. Trevor Hodge [1992]
fall 2005
What's The Matter With Kansas?
by Thomas Frank [2004]
Maus II
by Art Spiegelman [1986]
Sapphics Against Anger
by Timothy Steele [1986]
The Diamond Age
or A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer

by Neal Stephenson [1995]
The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire
by Edward Gibbon
[abrdg. 1987]
spring 2006
Law, Sexuality, and Society:
The Enforcement of Morals in Classical Athens

by David Cohen [1991]
Kosmos: Essays in Order,
Conflict and Community in Classical Athens

edited by Paul Cartledge, Paul Millett
and Sitta von Reden [1998]
summer 2006
As The Romans Did: A Sourcebook
In Roman Social History (Second Edition)
by
Jo-Ann Shelton [1998]
Franz Kafka: The Complete Stories
by Franz Kafka [trans. 1971]
Understanding Greek Vases:
A Guide to Terms, Styles, and Techniques

by Andrew J. Clark, Maya Elston,
and Mary Louise Hart [2002]
The Annals of Imperial Rome
by Tacitus [trans. 1956]
Four Plays By Aristophanes
by Aristophanes [trans. 1961/1962/1964]
Early Greek Vase Painting
by John Boardman [1998]
The Iliad
by Homer [trans. 1974]
The Reign of the Phallus:
Sexual Politics in Ancient Athens

by Eva C. Keuls [1985]
Crabwalk
by Günter Grass [2002]
The Picture of Dorian Gray
by Oscar Wilde [1891]
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
by James Joyce [1916]
The Poetry of Friedrich Nietzsche
by Philip Grundlehner [1986]
Ancient Greek Laws: A Sourcebook
by Ilias Arnaoutoglou [1998]
Pu der Bär
by A. A. Milne [deutsch edition: 1973]
Interpreting Greek Tragedy:
Myth, Poetry, Text

by Charles Segal [1986]
Greek Tragedy
by Erich Segal [1983]
Revenge in Attic and Later Greek Tragedy
by Anne Pippin Burnett [1998]
The Birth of Tragedy
by Friedrich Nietzsche [1871]
fall 2006
Art and Experience in Classical Greece
by J. J. Pollitt [1972]
The Oresteia
by Aeschylus [date forgotten]
Greek Sculpture: The Late Classical Period
by John Boardman [1995]
The Sculptures of the Parthenon:
Aesthetics and Interpretation

by Margaretha Rossholm Lagerlöf [2000]
The Decline and Fall of Virgil
in Eighteenth-Century Germany
THE REPRESSED MUSE

by Geoffrey Atherton [2006]
The Odyssey
translated from Homer by George Chapman [1614]
The German Tradition of Psychology
in Literature and Thought, 1700-1840

by Matthew Bell [2005]
Sixty Poems of Martial, in translation
by Dudley Fitts [1967]
Fourth-Century Styles in Greek Sculpture
by Brunilde Sismondo Ridgway [1997]
Mass and Elite in Democratic Athens:
Rhetoric, Ideology, and the
Power of the People

by Josiah Ober [1989]
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
by Jonathan Safran Foer [2005]
spring 2007
The Craft of Poetic Speech in Ancient Greece
by Claude Calame [1995 English translation]
Allusions and Intertext:
Dynamics of Appropriation in Roman Poetry

by Stephen Hinds [1996]
summer 2007
The History of the Peloponnesian War
by Thucydides [431 BCE]
The Stranger
by Albert Camus [1942]
The Bell Jar
by Sylvia Plath [1963]
Dubliners
by James Joyce [1914]
Illuminations
by Walter Benjamin [1969]
Oedipus at Colonus:
Sophocles, Athens, and the World

by Andreas Markantanotos [2007]
Human, All Too Human
by Friedrich Nietsche [1878]
Ovid- The Erotic Poems
translated by Peter Green [1982]
Candide
by Voltaire [1759]
The Sorrows of Young Werther
by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [1774]
fall 2007
Choke
by Chuck Palahniuk [2001]
Thus Spoke Zarathustra
by Friedrich Nietzsche [1883]
The Cambridge Companion to Greek Tragedy
edited by P. E. Easterling [1997]
A Poetry Handbook
by Mary Oliver [1994]
The Latin Sexual Vocabulary
by J. N. Adams [1982]
spring 2008
Word Order in Greek Tragic Dialogue
by Helma Dik [2007]
Wintering
by Kate Moses [2003]
A History of Greek Literature:
From Homer to the Hellenistic Period

by Albrecht Dihle [1991]
Njal's Saga
by author unknown
Brave New World
by Aldous Huxley [1932]
Gorgias
by Plato
The Saga of the Volsungs
by author unknown
The Poetic Edda
by author unknown [various dates]
Reflections:
Essays, Aphorisms, and
Autobiographical Writings

by Walter Benjamin [1978]
Doctor Faustus
by Christopher Marlowe [1592]
The Nibelungenlied
by an unknown poet [1200]
Reading Greek Tragedy
by Simon Goldhill [1986]
Phaedrus
by Plato
The Power of Images
in the Age of Augustus

by Paul Zanker [1988]
Caesar's Civil War
by William W. Batstone
and Cynthia Damon
[2006]
Caesar: The Civil War
translation by John Carter [1998]
summer 2008
Before You Leap:
A Frog's-Eye View of Life's
Greatest Lessons

by Kermit the Frog [2006]
Edda
by Snorri Sturluson [1220]
Selected Poems
by T. S. Eliot [1930]
The Elements of Style Illustrated
by Strunk and White [1929]
100 Years of Solitude
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez [1967]
Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker
by Dorothy Parker [1996]
Collected Poems
by Emily Dickinson []
Byron's Poetry
by George Gordon, Lord Byron []
Small Gods
by Terry Pratchett [1994]
Memories of My Melancholy Whores
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez [2004]
On The Road
by Jack Kerouac [1951]
fall 2008
Greek Love Reconsidered
by Thomas K. Hubbard [2000]
On Translating Homer
by Matthew Arnold [1862]
The Invention of Love
by Tom Stoppard [1998]
Erotic Tales of Medieval Germany
by Albrecht Classen [2007]
Long, Long Ago
by Alexander Woollcott [1943]
In the Vineyard of the Text:
A Commentary to Hugh's Didascalicon

by Ivan Illich [1996]
The Communist Manifesto
by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels [1847]
Selected Poems
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning [1988]
Textual Criticism
by Paul Maas [1958]
Medieval Studies: An Introduction
(Second Edition)

edited by James M. Powell [1992]
Juvenal: The Sixteen Satires
translated by Peter Green [1974]
Latin Paleography: Antiquity
and the Middle Ages

by Bernhard Bischoff [1979]
Less Than Zero
by Bret Easton Ellis [1985]
The Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm
translated by Jack Zipes [2003]
Old Christmas
by Washington Irving [1819]
spring 2009
Heinrich von Kleist: Plays
edited by Walter Hinderer [1982]
East of the Sun
and West of the Moon

illustrated by Kay Nielsen [1914]
The History of Make-Believe:
Tacitus on Imperial Rome

by Holly Haynes [2003]
The Pooh Perplex
by Frederick Crews [2003]
Over to You: Ten stories
of fliers and flying

by Roald Dahl [1946]
Pride and Prejudice
by Jane Austen [1813]
The History of Sexuality, Volume I:
An Introduction

by Michel Foucault [1976]
The History of Sexuality, Volume II:
The Use of Pleasure

by Michel Foucault [1985] The History of Sexuality, Volume III:
The Care of the Self

by Michel Foucault [1980]
1976 The Sandman: Endless Nights
by Neil Gaiman [2003]
The Poems of Wilfred Owen
collected by Jon Stallworthy [1986]
Wykked Wyves and the Woes of Marriage:
Misogamous Literature From Juvenal to Chaucer

by Elizabeth M. Makowski and Katharina M. Wilson [1990]
Good Omens: The Nice
and Accurate Prophecies
of Agnes Nutter, Witch

by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman [1990]
Breakfast at Tiffany's
by Truman Capote [1950]
Greek Word Order
by K. J. Dover [1960]
Caesar's Calendar: Ancient Time
and the Beginnings of History

by Denis Feeney [2007]
Latin Language and Latin Culture
from ancient to modern times

by Joseph Farrell [2001]
Old Christmas
by Washington Irving [1824]
The Annals
by Tacitus, A. J. Woodman trans. [2004]
40 Short Stories:
A Portable Anthology, Second Edition

by Beverly Lawn [2004]







HAUNTS:
Archaeology
Get Fuzzy

*TASKS: *
:: read another book ::
:: study, like a good egg ::

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Of course, I did not create this template myself. These people did:

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The Interrupted Life
Thursday, August 16, 2007

Productivity levels this summer have been negative. Without routine, I am pulled in too many different directions and am almost incapable of making rational, efficient choices. Consequently, I spend too much time waiting for something to happen or putting off tasks, rather than acting immediately to accomplish as much as possible. Even with a consistent schedule, organization becomes problematic, but this summer the usual problems have been significantly exacerbated.

I wish I had no mind, because dwelling on matters only complicates them. I over-analyze the process of getting into my pants every morning. That alone is one of the various reasons I give for not wanting to have children or get married- I can barely dress myself.

Yesterday I made an especial trip to the dollar general store for two water bottles. I emerged carrying four bags of dollar store delights, including a Cookie Monster cinch bag, which is absolutely necessary to further my existence. I ought to never leave the house, really, because just these sorts of excursions make me broke.

Lauree + spending on credit = doubleplusungood.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 11:45 AM]



A Vindication On The Rights Of Laurees
Friday, August 10, 2007

I finished reading a library book about Sophocles' Oedipus at Colonus. I did not read Oedipus at Colonus; I just read a commentary. When one has a thorogh commentary, why bother sludging through the actual play? I shall be resourceful, to make use of the extensive bibliography, which contains many general works about the tragic genre.

I mananged to kill the battery on my car. I had sat down in it to adjust the mirrors, find the blinker, headlights, etc., then left it in the alley behind my backhouse. Apparently, I neglected to turn the headlights off, for when I went to start it two days ago, nothing happened. I need this vehicle to transport goods from the dorm to my new place of residence, but a dead vehicle does me no good. No one I know has the cables or know-how required to revive it.

Oh, well.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 4:30 PM]



Research Keys To The American Renaissance
Thursday, August 02, 2007

The day before yesterday I picked up a library book with the fetching title: Poetry as performance: Homer and beyond, but after reading through two repetitive chapters that convey no information in particular, I have decided to hurl this disappointing contribution to the mound of useless classical scholarship down the returned items chute. The Cambridge University Press should be ashamed.

Tomorrow or the next day I will thus be free to begin reading The Bacchae in translation. My reading schedule depends on the factors of whether I begin moving my worldly goods into the new Lauree Lair this weekend or afterward and of whether I satisfactorily complete my research for a paper about Texas immigration policy. I have begun with reading about border control policy during the Clinton administration, but I need to follow up on the statistics gathered, legislation enacted, policies amended/added, etc. since 2001.

One article I have read quoted an INS report as stating that a decrease in apprehensions indicates the efficacy of increased border control. Ingenious. The author of the article then proceeded, rightly, to elaborate that most scholars consider such numbers dubious and inaccurate as a reflection of the effectiveness of the border policy implemented during the Clinton and W. administrations.

I should quit researching and go to bed.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 8:49 PM]



A Man Is A Two-Face
Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Having read every chapter covered, in its entirety, and neglecting to so much as glance at the lecture slides my professor provided on his website, I scored a ninety-seven on the first American public policy exam I took a couple of weeks ago. For the exam I took today, I studied the slides exclusively and ignored the book. I felt confident about most of the answers- surely I made a "B" or better. The questions were mostly intuitive.

This evening I walked a friend of mine from the coffee shop to the campus library (I wanted to be there to protect him, in the event of attack by a serial murderer-rapist). At one point in our conversation, he turned to me and said,
'Lauree, if I could take on just one percent of your misery, I would have a life-time supply.'
This is veritable. He fabricates all of his angst, but mine comes from legitimate foundations. I trace everything that goes awry to having stemmed from something my father did.

Exemplum: About two weeks ago, I wiped out on my bike, bruising most of the right side of my body. The emergency room bill incurred afterward comes to slightly under four thousand dollars. The bruises to my hip and a rib or two still prevent me from walking or breathing properly. If I do not heal very soon, my doctor has threatened to put me on physical therapy.

This is all my father's fault.

Logic: When he was eight, my father taught himself how to ride a unicycle. He kept (and presumably still has) that unicycle, and used to take it out to ride on occasion, as one of his impressive, though mostly useless, miscellaneous talents. In high school, my sister's boyfriend captured the spectacle on home video. He also kept and rode sporadically a yellow racer-bike from college. My senior year of high school, we went to Academy and picked out a bike (as a birthday expenditure) for me to ride around during college, since I was probably not going to afford a car anytime soon. A week later, he went back to Academy and purchased the man-version of my bike for himself.

Since then, I have always had a bike. The one I brought from home ran away, presumably, though I found out (too late) that I had left it on campus, whence it was very likely impounded. Several months later, a friend kindly gave me his bike, which I had grown accustomed to having as a main source of transportation over this past year. Without it I felt impotent, and over-compensated by investing in a fancier, more efficient bicycle, with some half-baked notion of slowly training over the coming academic year to enter in marathons... or something. At present, that bike is parked, gleaming and undamaged, next to my dorm, mocking me as I hobble by on my way to class every morning. I haven't decided yet, whether I am to trade it in for a more user-friendly (or at least, "Lauree-friendly") model.

None of this would have happened, if at the age of eight my father hadn't been fascinated enough by a unicycle to teach himself how to ride it. His determination assured my misery.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 7:40 PM]





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