Thursday, September 30, 2004
I just ate a deli sandwich (perhaps a little too fast) that I can feel hurtling through my digestive system. Right now it is midway through the small intestines. This painful affair reminds me of that episode from The Magic Schoolbus wherein Ms. Frizzle takes the kids on a field trip through Ralphie's digestive system via potato chip. My mother once purchased from an elementary school bookfair an amazing piece of children's literature entitled, What Happens To My Hamburger?. I liked the ending best.
The Father mailed my Texas driver's license (finally). I am hideous. I want to beat my face in with a sledgehammer.
I attended the Logic discussion this afternoon, which cleared a few matters. The multiple choice sections will probably concern definitions and recognition of certain patterns, which should not be difficult, but the applications... I never do well on applications in any subject; I'm far too spacey.
I have to go to the bathroom... now...
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:58 PM]
A+ A+
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
The counter claims sixty people have viewed the blog since midnight, but sixty people don't know my weblog exists... this is a puzzlement.
My art appreciation journal received another "A+" rating. I am such a good child. The classical mythology professor said we would get our test results Friday; I pouted. Patience is one of the many virtues I do not possess.
Rebekah cooked linguini last night, because I recently told her the dorm food kills me. They cook everything bland. Her linguini was quite satisfactory, as was the salad and sherbet we ate with it. I met Rebekah's current roommates and her dorm roommate from last year; they are nice people, easy to converse with. I only maintained a slight aloofness.
I suppose I shall spend the afternoon either reading or sleeping.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 11:20 AM]
Beaker
Monday, September 27, 2004
I finished the Classical Mythology exam in less than fifteen minutes, which is about how long I studied for it. I confidently answered each question and should therefore score an "A". Friday's Logic exam frightens me somewhat, because I do not understand well how to construct/deconstruct sentences. I shall study a little bit over the next four days.
This morning I waded across the street trekking to Art Appreciation; the water soaked my jeans to mid-shin level. Emily's brother's Airwalks are not water tight. Ancient civilizations of both hemispheres had drainage systems, but Lubbock does not.
Choppy chop chop sentences tra la la la la. Sleepy.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 11:36 AM]
Nyquil Overdose
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Rebekah picked me up from work and we went to a coffee joint, where I, ever the rebel, drank a rasberry Italian soda rather than coffee. A father/son duo played us some jazzy music. I proudly picked out "Hernando's Hideaway" and sang a stanza for Rebekah, as she had not heard it before. The son of this duo looked like Harpo Marx, who I want to someday marry. That is all.
Oh- my neck hurts; I slept unnaturally as a result of the huge barbell that now sticks out of my cartilage. But beauty is pain. Rebekah admired my holes.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 9:52 PM]
Am I A Mongoloid?
Friday, September 24, 2004
A boy who is not bad looking asked me for help with Word a second ago. I glanced at him, said I knew nothing, and continued typing. He looked disappointed, scanned the room desperately (there are only two other people in the lab), and got help from someone else. I am sort of glad, because his paper looks complicated, and I have a headache.
But sometimes being severely asexual is a bit trialsome.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 8:36 PM]
The Unholy Trinity
Before work Keri (my manager) pierced my ears (twice in the lobes and once in the right ear cartilage). I got a sapphire daisy for the first poking, a stainless steel ball for the second, and a barbell for the cartilage. It looks... feminine. All three, with a bottle of solution, only cost $33.41. I figured I would take advantage of this employee discount, as I might not stick with this particular job long if I can locate a more lucrative position elsewhere.
I sort of teared up as Rebecca (one of the assistant managers) pierced a little girl's ears. The kid (who turns ten tomorrow, her mother informed me) actually started shaking, and her cute little face turned red. She didn't say, 'No, Mommy, don't make me do it!' but she was quite terrified, poor thing. Rebecca pierced the first ear and said, 'See, we're halfway done, and this isn't so bad, is it?' which did not reassure the child in the slightest. Her lips quivered and she grabbed her mother's hand.
I can't pierce a kid's ears if he/she doesn't really want me to! How can parents be so cruel? And babies- they make me squeamish enough already; I can't charge at one with a needle.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 8:12 PM]
Green Is Sexy
Thursday, September 23, 2004
I received an 86 on the Sports and Public Spectacles exam. Ausgezeichnet.
Work was uneventful. I rather wish something eventful would happen to me. Getting brutally murdered would be a nice change from my routine.
Tomorrow Amy leaves for a weekend in Irving. She told me I would have the room to myself for sexual purposes- I looked at her blankly and said, 'Yes- Kermit The Frog and I will have a good time alone together.' Perhaps I ought to look into getting a sexual object that isn't stuffed.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 9:09 PM]
Lunch = Diet Coke With Lime
Though I fell asleep at three this morning and woke up around nine-thirty, I feel much better than I did yesterday. After classes I spent the afternoon researching Roger Dean and the evening choreographing a report scheme for the journal. I hand-copied the Yes logo onto a page, traced it in black, coloured the innards with green marker, and penned Yes lyrics into the letters. I did the exact same thing on the next page, except I coloured the logo blue and wrote up my critique. The background behind both is black. I like the effect, especially the way it coordinates with the rest of my journal. On the other pages I haven't written my reports across the page lines- I add pictures and swirl words around them with a black Pilot pen. Admittedly, they're a headache to read, but this is Art Appreciation, not Writing Appreciation. I'll still get an "A", even if I write nothing substantial. Ausgezeichnet.
The Logic discussion moved to another room that I could not find, so... I didn't go. I'm waiting around until the Sports and Public Spectacles class begins. I'm somewhat apprehensive about my exam grade- I hope I did well, but I suspect I might not have. Paranoia...
Tonight I finally work again. I haven't worked since Saturday, which is absolutely ridiculous. I need a second job.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 11:11 AM]
Chocolate Brownie Madness
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
I feel like a pile of poop this morning. I ought to be in my Logic class, but I am playing hooky because I know the instructor won't advance material that isn't in the book already. The TA hosts a discussion section tomorrow; he explains the material more concisely, so if I missed anything today, I'll get it tomorrow. My head hurts too thoroughly for me to sit through an uninformative lecture.
This weekend I actually have constructive work to complete. I have to critique an artist's murals in one of the school buildings for Art Appreciation. Additionally I must research a contemporary artist and chronicle quick research about his work. I think I'll either do Roger Dean (he designed the Yes logo and several of their original albums) or Paul Jackson (a water colour artist who painted murals at the University of Missouri). Then all my classes require massive amounts of studying, for tests occur next week.
I came at this with the intent to write something witty, but for now the head says, "Ouch".
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 9:05 AM]
The Hellanodikai Deemed Me Unworthy
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
The first Sports and Public Spectacles in the Ancient World exam proved more difficult than originally supposed. The instructor asked detailed questions about items mentioned only briefly during her lectures... sneaky. I am fairly certain I missed at least three questions out of fifty. Questions from the films we watched were easy, but I should have studied my own notes more. Oh, well. Next time I will know what to study- everything.
I finally printed and signed a voter registration form, but I still don't know that I'll actually vote. Bush = doubleplusungood, but Kerry doesn't make me wet, either. In fact, Kerry doesn't even make me hungry. Voting for someone for whom one has no confidence does not seem intelligent.
I hate people.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 12:28 PM]
Harriet M. Welsch
Monday, September 20, 2004
In my recent absence my stepbrother (the twenty-three year-old, Jeremy) moved out of the Hell Pit and into another one, this time with his father here in Lubbock. His father works in a department at my school and lives across the street from campus. Anyhow, The Father never mentioned Jeremy left "their" (it's Terri's, really, but the two of them like to pretend they share it) house in Katy a few weeks ago , which does not surprise me much, as The Father probably knew on some level that I wouldn't want to contact Jeremy, anyway. I check Jeremy's LiveJournal for kicks, though, and now his latest scandal is that he apparently left his father's house, perhaps without notice. He either slinked back to live with The Father and his mommy again or he's holed up with some hoodlum friend. I honestly hope he goes back to massive drug use, because maybe that will cause The Father to reexamine his attitudes toward me, the child who has never even inhaled! Jeremy is a sneaky, lying little weasle boy. I'm selfish and inconsiderate, but at least I don't attempt to hide it.
Everyone should be grateful that I am a wonderful, magnificent person who is never ever wrong!
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 7:12 PM]
Guilt Trip
Scarface informed me he received a check from his mother today. I responded to this news with, 'My mother never sends me money'. Heh-heh. I appreciate my sense of humour, if no one else does.
Now that The Father has remarried, I don't suppose he tends my mother's grave anymore. He and Kailey used to go out every few weeks to clean the bird poop off the headstone and to check on the two crape myrtles they planted, but when I stayed with The Brady Bunch From Hell this summer, I don't recall them making such a trip. It certainly isn't The Father's fault, of course, but I am a little bitter that my mommy a) is being neglected and b) never got the second chance at happiness that The Father currently enjoys. None of her family lives in Katy, and it wouldn't kill him to continue tending her grave, especially since no one else can.
So... should I get Ben and Jerry's from the drugstore, or wait for the dining halls to open and head straight for dessert?
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:59 PM]
Tick Tock
Sunday, September 19, 2004
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 6:36 PM]
Hoodlums
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Trashy people live in Lubbock. These people dump their slutty kids off at the mall, expecting me to babysit them. Brats hawked earrings and bracelets and anything else they could stick their grubby little paws to all day. Mall security routinely walks through the store.
I hate people.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 8:28 PM]
Further Drainage
Friday, September 17, 2004
Rebekah, Carissa and I went to the university museum, which had turn-of-the-century (well, the one before the one that just ended) Native American photogravures, a few dinosaur bones, and Georgia O'Keefe's heart. Carissa informed us of the current scandal about Lubbock's Buddy Holly Museum for the Arts: 'twould appear Mrs. Buddy Holly wants more money for the building to continue using his name, because her annual rights apparently expire in a year or two. The owners of the building essentially told her to take a hike, id est, the building will be renamed shortly. She's been milking profits from his fame for half a century, and they were only married how long? Greed is a terrible thing, children.
After the excitement of seeing dinosaur bones, we dined at Fazolis. The girls there gave us many breadsticks. My breath tastes like marinara.
Tomorrow morning I journey to the art building (it is across the street from my dorm) to critique student work displayed in the studio gallery for the second half of an art appreciation assignment. I finished my analysis of the teaching assistant's work last night as Amy, Robert, and I watched Halloween. The film lacked enough death. After completing homework tomorrow I shall count every physical item at my new place of employment during the course of my shift. That sounds unexciting, but I suppose it is preferable to contending with people.
I hate people.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 6:14 PM]
Drainage Dump
Thursday, September 16, 2004
I will not explain the title, but it amuses me.
I did not shower today. Nope. No shower for Lauree. I feel fantastic.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:28 PM]
Teacher's Pet
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
The art appreciation instructor handed back our sketchbook journals, with the exception of eight or nine he kept to use as examples. Mine was one of the special ones... the composition went beyond the bare minimum he specified. Grade: A+
For the next assignment, I must write about the teaching assistant's artwork, which she displayed for us via slideshow. She composes mostly oil paintings from natural objects, such as twigs, leaves, flowers, bird nests, and dead birds she picks up. My art vocabulary isn't highly developed to fairly express my interpretations, but I liked her use of texture to establish interplays of light and shadow. She cast over a couple of paintings with some special paint that she allowed to dry, then she returned with sandpaper or another medium to add other elements. I genuinely liked at least some aspect of everything she did, which relieves my initial anxiety about how to gracefully describe any distaste I might have had.
After I eat linner I shall work on my assignment, before I lose my images of the artwork.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 11:09 AM]
Grade Me
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Yesterday in the middle of the afternoon I took a two-hour nap. It proved most beneficial. I then fell asleep again around midnight to rise at eight. I should sleep more often.
Other than studying or reading the Japanese history book I mentioned, I do very little. I decided not to join the Speech and Debate Team this year, because with two jobs (eventually) I shan't have time for competition. I might join Philosophy Club, although I missed the first meeting. Some co-ed service fraternity (Alpha Phi Omega) hosts its last informal rush tomorrow, which I might attend for kicks. I am curious as to what a service fraternity does, precisely: do we feed the homeless drunk? Do we (drunk) feed the homeless?
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 7:36 AM]
Disk Golf
Sunday, September 12, 2004
On Friday Rebekah took me and another friend of hers disk-golfing at a park here. Disk golf is a vague sport that involves throwing a frisbee-like (flat, but lipless) disk from a tee into a basket that lies hundreds of feet away. The game suits me fine (it is monotonous and tragically slow), but I lost interest after a short while because I do not throw far. Any activity at which I do not excel immediately bores me, as Louis and James discovered when we went bowling this summer.
Rebekah gave a tour of her apartment yesterday before we journeyed to Wal*Mart. She and two roommates each have their own large bedrooms, Rebekah's lying downstairs off of the living room and her roommmates' rooms being upstairs, connected by a bathroom. The kitchen and living room are small but not at all cramped; they've made good use of the space.
Last night I officially slinked back to the chaotic world of retail. The assistant manager (a girl named "Kristen") and I remained until long after closing, because it was an unusually busy Saturday. She spent the entire time either piercing ears (one was a screaming baby) or ringing merchandise. As I am not allowed yet to perform either of those essential operations, I walked around greeting guests and picking up said guests' messes. Every earring in the joint looks exactly the same as every other earring in the joint, which posed severe problems when I attempted to locate where the lost ones belonged. Otherwise, nothing was too stressful, and Kristen seemed relatively satisfied with my work ability. She drove me home so that I would not have to call a cab, which I greatly appreciated (I do not have the money to call a cab every night I end up closing).
Today I set aside for the diligent study of schoolwork. I did most of my reading Wednesday and Thursday, but I staved off reading the next Logic chapter. Then comes review of the next chapter for my computer class. Afterward I'll probably read The Making of Modern Japan, a book I bought in January or February and never started till last week. I began the first chapter; it is well-written and interesting, but somewhat difficult for someone who knows next to nothing about Japanese history. The Glorious Internet will provide me with further background, should I require such.
Dining hall lunches are unfulfilling.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 11:13 AM]
Stressball Wizard
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Last night I read every chapter for every class and completed every assignment. In the classical mythology textbook I read ahead, because that is my favourite class, currently (hence yesterday's reference to Hesiod).
Today during Sports and Public Spectacles I watched a History Channel video about the first Olympic Games narrated by Leonard Nimoy (he narrated the film, not the Games, although he sounded excited enough about the subject that I suspect he secretly wished he was a naked competitor). The episode, I felt, grossly exaggerated the fact that the athletes competed naked; the film referred to homoeroticism, which I do not at all doubt existed, but they probably over-emphasized the extent to which the athletes felt that sort of "fraternal connection". Besides, a homosexual ancient Greek boxer could kill a modern heterosexual American athlete with his bare hands, which I find impressive. I'd pay to see that. The wrestlers eventually got to the point where they inflicted damage by inserting inch-long metal blades into the leather they tied around their hands, thereby making the event more essentially a knife-fight. Ausgezeichnet. No rules equals more fun!
At my new place of employment, I am allowed two (2) visible piercings in addition to any I might have in my ears. I am not pierced anywhere, but I have decided to have someone poke holes through my earlobes, one nostril, and my bottom lip (to one side, not through the center). My manager might even grant me the freedom to colour my hair, in which event I shall be either green, purple, or a combination of the two with black. This will make me cool and urbane. I do not like tattoos, irregardless of the hordes of people who seem to like them. Hair and holes are easier to fix.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 4:27 PM]
Being Green
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
My stepbrother, whose father lives in Lubbock across the street from campus, apparently flew up this weekend to live with his father again. I don't blame him for seeking refuge from The House of Usher. I will not contact him, though, because he does not drive. I do not like the weasely little fellow, so chauffeur services would be his only worth. He therefore is worthless.
This afternoon I read most of Hesiod's Theogeny, in which he describes Kronos' severance of Ouranos' genitalia and the genitalia's subsequent sea journey. Rub-a-dub-dub, heh-heh.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 5:19 PM]
Baroque
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
I think my right ear has some permanent infection; it doesn't hurt, but it constantly feels clogged. It's been this way since I had a massive cold in February. I took amoxicilin for awhile, but the ear remained unfixed. I noticed it again this morning as I readied myself for breakfast-hunting. I hope I am not permanenely broken, because I do not think I have insurance at the moment.
The mall job does not begin until Friday. It pays minimum wage, which will not accumulate to earn a car by next semester. This means I must hunt down a second job and ditch the Speech Team, since I'll need the weekends to work. I wish I was a wealthy man. I wish I was the only Hilton heiress.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 9:23 AM]
Dadgummit, Part 954
Monday, September 06, 2004
The only computer labs that contain the programs I need for completing my homework are closed. Scheisse. Tomorrow I shall have to arise at seven to get a spot before everyone from all six sessions arrive.
I should always do today what will be a pain in the ass for me to do tomorrow.Last night Amy and I drove around town (it was not a long trip) blaring that evil rock music. We passed a theatre whose billboard advertised "The Sparkles Reunion" (lots of old people milling around outside) and three or four sports bars. Amy observed, 'I think that was the Strip.' Unfortunately, I think she was correct. Amy had mentioned earlier that Lubbock does have a real drive-in, but I didn't feel cuddly at the time.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:16 PM]
Minestrone
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Yesterday I ate my favourite soup.
The homework for the computer class I am taking demands I finish it this afternoon. I must travel to one of the computer labs to complete it. I just hope the disk I bought for saving my work is the correct one. The dumkopf associate at the store could provide no help in the matter.
I bought a shirt at the Gap. I've turned into such a yuppie. But the shirt is "pretty" and "comfy"... And when I see Sarah Jessica Parker and Lenny Kravitz dancing in those commercials, I feel compelled to spend, spend, spend: for Sarah Jessica Parker and Lenny Kravitz are hep together.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 11:28 AM]
Mentos Freshness
Saturday, September 04, 2004
I am a bore.
Amy and I found ourselves with nothing constructive to do, so until a few minutes ago we watched I Love The Nineties. The fact that I could physically feel my brain cells popping out of existence led me to exit the room for some mindless computer wandering. Daisy Fuentes convinced Amy she ought to buy a Winsor Pilates tape. The commercial sucked me in, too. I do loathe high-impact moving.
I read the first logic chapter, to discover it contains ninety percent more material than the professor has covered during lecture. He has reviewed the first basic concept (syllogistic or Aristotleian logic) in generalities, without explicitly addressing its name, development, uses, et cetera. According to the syllabus, he will cover the entire rest of the chapter next week. But I suppose I should not bewail a slow pace for this type of class.
I am off to read the classical mythology text, some of which, the professor warned, will be on the exams and some of which will not. The fun lies in guessing what to retain and what to discard!
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 11:47 AM]
Mall Music
Friday, September 03, 2004
I bought expensive clothes to wear for my new job. They serve a dual purpose, for they shall be worn also during speech tournaments to come. Now that I am older, I rather like the way I appear in dressy clothes; I do not, however, appreciate the price of these pretties. Oh, well. I officially begin working tomorrow, most probably (I am awaiting my manager's phone call tonight).
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 3:47 PM]
Knossos
Thursday, September 02, 2004
In my Logic discussion group I met a girl who is also a Classics major. We were mutually excited and intrigued, for we had both been hunting the past week for people similar to ourselves. We are going to be lifelong friends.
The Sports and Public Spectacles instructor knows precious little about Power Point, which made her lecture disorganized in addition to boring. She does not know how to interpret three-quarters of the archaelogical evidence she showed us, which further complicated the lecture. I would prefer she state something to the extent of, "We know A, but about B we are unclear, due to a lack of C, D, and E. Therefore, we cannot derive the necessary information about F from B." I sat through an hour and-a-half of aggravation. But I will survive.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:50 PM]
Don't Be Economic Girly-Men!
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Computing and Information Technology
This is a "self-guided course", id est, I read the book, complete online "modules", and visit the computer lab once a week to take a test. In a little bit I have to make a journey down the street for either a pen drive or a thumb drive for saving my homework. I have previously used neither. I resent being introduced to new technologies. If I had my way, I'd still be using the Amiga 2000. But not having to attend class every morning at 11:00 is priceless.Sports And Public Spectacles In The Ancient World, 2:00-3:20 p.m.
The instructor is a burly old woman, similar to Mrs. Smith, the high school theatre teacher. The University installed new slide technology into the classroom, which boggled her old geezer mind, but she's more amusing than pathetic. As I suspected and have enthusiastically proclaimed to everyone, this class will, indeed, be all about naked men fighting each other. It's precisely what I've always wanted to study.In art appreciation today the instructor introduced us to the course through various slides depicting some of the art history background into which we shall be delving this semester. He flipped to a nineteenth-century lifelike portrait of a woman's vagina/lower body, which made me giggle. Several people looked, then averted their eyes as the instructor discussed why putting this slide after things like The Mona Lisa and Starry Night made absolute sense. Most people (with notable exceptions, such as the people in Montgomery County) can handle the statue of David, but women's body parts are still taboo to discuss or depict. The title of this painting was something along the lines of "The Origins Of The Earth" (more giggles); it is probably famous, but I am ignorant of its author.
I decided officially to join the Speech and Debate team. I want to participate primarily in public address events (such as persuasive and informative), but I am currently at a loss for a decent, relevant topic. But the coaches will help me find one; that is their reason for existing. The first tournament starts the weekend of September 17th. I might do impromptu and perhaps one other event; I'll observe most rounds to determine how the college circuit works. Ausgezeichnet.
The manager of the accessories store located in the mall phoned the other night to inform me I am now an employee of her business. This job will provide me with money and something to do when I am not studying or practicing speeches. And oh, how I do miss floor recovery and floor stocking.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:04 PM]