Monday, October 25, 2004
Kevin met Kermit, but he apparently does not understand that he and Kermit are rivals for my affections... and Kermit always wins. After we do The Nasty, Kevin is going to receive the "let's just be friends"/"it's not you- it's me"/"it would mean I would have to shave my legs every day" talk.
April learned some of the details of my first boy sleepover- she laughed through our entire phone conversation. My sporadic sexual encounters are always more comedic than sexy. For example, Kevin and I sat on his bed watching Southpark when he made that first "move" of putting his hand over mine. I knew it was coming, and I hurt my face suppressing my giggles. I didn't want to injure his feelings, so I pretended I was really, really absorbed in the episode.
While figuring the logistics of fitting two people on a dorm bed, Kevin turned and asked, 'Okay, so how do you want to sleep?' Out of the many choices, the thing I chose to say was, 'Um... well, you just hop under the sheets however you usually do, and I'll sort of work around that.' He looked perplexed, so I gestured toward the bed and snapped my fingers twice. This added an element of fear to Kevin's expression, but he got in the bed like a good little boy (I suspect he will, in retrospect, pick that precise moment as his first mistake in this relationship). Then I walked over to the light, grinned at Kevin deviously, and turned it off. Did he get the hint? Nope. They never run when they have the chance.
I asked April if she thought me "naughty" for taking someone else's emotions and turning it into a comic strip of sorts, but she assured me I am not a bad person. Of course, this assessment did come from someone who automatically causes men to begin conversations with phrases such as, "Please don't kill me..."
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 11:14 AM]