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*SELF-HELP FROM OTHERS: *

You say I need a job
I got my own business
You wanna know what I do?
None of your fucking business!
Fugazi- "Repeater"

Everything I like to do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Alexander Woolcott

You can only be young once
but you can always be immature.
Dave Barry

It is convenient
that there should be gods,
so let us believe that there are!
Ovid

The colon has more effect than the comma,
less power to separate than the semicolon,
and more formality than the dash.
Strunk and White
The Elements of Style




*BOOKS CURRENTLY READING: *
The Collected Poems of W. B. Yeats
by W. B. Yeats [1996]
Engineering in the Ancient World:
Revised Edition

by J. G. Landels [2000]
The Meters of Greek and Latin Poetry
by James W. Halporn [1994]
European Literature
And the Latin Middle Ages

by Ernst Robert Curtius [1973]
The Jugurthine War and
The Conspiracy of Catiline

by Sallust [1963 translation]
Introduction to Manuscript Studies
by Raymond Clemens [2007]
Anthology of European Romantic Poetry
by Michael Ferber [2005]

*BOOKS COMPLETED: *
summer 2005
The Aeneid
by Vergil [trans. 1981]
Romaji Diary and Sad Toys
by Takuboku Ishikawa [1909 & 1912]
Greece in the Making: 1200-429 BC
by Robin Osborne [1996]
Spectacles of Death in Ancient Rome
by Donald G. Kyle [1998]
Roman Aqueducts and Water Supply
by A. Trevor Hodge [1992]
fall 2005
What's The Matter With Kansas?
by Thomas Frank [2004]
Maus II
by Art Spiegelman [1986]
Sapphics Against Anger
by Timothy Steele [1986]
The Diamond Age
or A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer

by Neal Stephenson [1995]
The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire
by Edward Gibbon
[abrdg. 1987]
spring 2006
Law, Sexuality, and Society:
The Enforcement of Morals in Classical Athens

by David Cohen [1991]
Kosmos: Essays in Order,
Conflict and Community in Classical Athens

edited by Paul Cartledge, Paul Millett
and Sitta von Reden [1998]
summer 2006
As The Romans Did: A Sourcebook
In Roman Social History (Second Edition)
by
Jo-Ann Shelton [1998]
Franz Kafka: The Complete Stories
by Franz Kafka [trans. 1971]
Understanding Greek Vases:
A Guide to Terms, Styles, and Techniques

by Andrew J. Clark, Maya Elston,
and Mary Louise Hart [2002]
The Annals of Imperial Rome
by Tacitus [trans. 1956]
Four Plays By Aristophanes
by Aristophanes [trans. 1961/1962/1964]
Early Greek Vase Painting
by John Boardman [1998]
The Iliad
by Homer [trans. 1974]
The Reign of the Phallus:
Sexual Politics in Ancient Athens

by Eva C. Keuls [1985]
Crabwalk
by Günter Grass [2002]
The Picture of Dorian Gray
by Oscar Wilde [1891]
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
by James Joyce [1916]
The Poetry of Friedrich Nietzsche
by Philip Grundlehner [1986]
Ancient Greek Laws: A Sourcebook
by Ilias Arnaoutoglou [1998]
Pu der Bär
by A. A. Milne [deutsch edition: 1973]
Interpreting Greek Tragedy:
Myth, Poetry, Text

by Charles Segal [1986]
Greek Tragedy
by Erich Segal [1983]
Revenge in Attic and Later Greek Tragedy
by Anne Pippin Burnett [1998]
The Birth of Tragedy
by Friedrich Nietzsche [1871]
fall 2006
Art and Experience in Classical Greece
by J. J. Pollitt [1972]
The Oresteia
by Aeschylus [date forgotten]
Greek Sculpture: The Late Classical Period
by John Boardman [1995]
The Sculptures of the Parthenon:
Aesthetics and Interpretation

by Margaretha Rossholm Lagerlöf [2000]
The Decline and Fall of Virgil
in Eighteenth-Century Germany
THE REPRESSED MUSE

by Geoffrey Atherton [2006]
The Odyssey
translated from Homer by George Chapman [1614]
The German Tradition of Psychology
in Literature and Thought, 1700-1840

by Matthew Bell [2005]
Sixty Poems of Martial, in translation
by Dudley Fitts [1967]
Fourth-Century Styles in Greek Sculpture
by Brunilde Sismondo Ridgway [1997]
Mass and Elite in Democratic Athens:
Rhetoric, Ideology, and the
Power of the People

by Josiah Ober [1989]
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
by Jonathan Safran Foer [2005]
spring 2007
The Craft of Poetic Speech in Ancient Greece
by Claude Calame [1995 English translation]
Allusions and Intertext:
Dynamics of Appropriation in Roman Poetry

by Stephen Hinds [1996]
summer 2007
The History of the Peloponnesian War
by Thucydides [431 BCE]
The Stranger
by Albert Camus [1942]
The Bell Jar
by Sylvia Plath [1963]
Dubliners
by James Joyce [1914]
Illuminations
by Walter Benjamin [1969]
Oedipus at Colonus:
Sophocles, Athens, and the World

by Andreas Markantanotos [2007]
Human, All Too Human
by Friedrich Nietsche [1878]
Ovid- The Erotic Poems
translated by Peter Green [1982]
Candide
by Voltaire [1759]
The Sorrows of Young Werther
by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [1774]
fall 2007
Choke
by Chuck Palahniuk [2001]
Thus Spoke Zarathustra
by Friedrich Nietzsche [1883]
The Cambridge Companion to Greek Tragedy
edited by P. E. Easterling [1997]
A Poetry Handbook
by Mary Oliver [1994]
The Latin Sexual Vocabulary
by J. N. Adams [1982]
spring 2008
Word Order in Greek Tragic Dialogue
by Helma Dik [2007]
Wintering
by Kate Moses [2003]
A History of Greek Literature:
From Homer to the Hellenistic Period

by Albrecht Dihle [1991]
Njal's Saga
by author unknown
Brave New World
by Aldous Huxley [1932]
Gorgias
by Plato
The Saga of the Volsungs
by author unknown
The Poetic Edda
by author unknown [various dates]
Reflections:
Essays, Aphorisms, and
Autobiographical Writings

by Walter Benjamin [1978]
Doctor Faustus
by Christopher Marlowe [1592]
The Nibelungenlied
by an unknown poet [1200]
Reading Greek Tragedy
by Simon Goldhill [1986]
Phaedrus
by Plato
The Power of Images
in the Age of Augustus

by Paul Zanker [1988]
Caesar's Civil War
by William W. Batstone
and Cynthia Damon
[2006]
Caesar: The Civil War
translation by John Carter [1998]
summer 2008
Before You Leap:
A Frog's-Eye View of Life's
Greatest Lessons

by Kermit the Frog [2006]
Edda
by Snorri Sturluson [1220]
Selected Poems
by T. S. Eliot [1930]
The Elements of Style Illustrated
by Strunk and White [1929]
100 Years of Solitude
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez [1967]
Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker
by Dorothy Parker [1996]
Collected Poems
by Emily Dickinson []
Byron's Poetry
by George Gordon, Lord Byron []
Small Gods
by Terry Pratchett [1994]
Memories of My Melancholy Whores
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez [2004]
On The Road
by Jack Kerouac [1951]
fall 2008
Greek Love Reconsidered
by Thomas K. Hubbard [2000]
On Translating Homer
by Matthew Arnold [1862]
The Invention of Love
by Tom Stoppard [1998]
Erotic Tales of Medieval Germany
by Albrecht Classen [2007]
Long, Long Ago
by Alexander Woollcott [1943]
In the Vineyard of the Text:
A Commentary to Hugh's Didascalicon

by Ivan Illich [1996]
The Communist Manifesto
by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels [1847]
Selected Poems
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning [1988]
Textual Criticism
by Paul Maas [1958]
Medieval Studies: An Introduction
(Second Edition)

edited by James M. Powell [1992]
Juvenal: The Sixteen Satires
translated by Peter Green [1974]
Latin Paleography: Antiquity
and the Middle Ages

by Bernhard Bischoff [1979]
Less Than Zero
by Bret Easton Ellis [1985]
The Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm
translated by Jack Zipes [2003]
Old Christmas
by Washington Irving [1819]
spring 2009
Heinrich von Kleist: Plays
edited by Walter Hinderer [1982]
East of the Sun
and West of the Moon

illustrated by Kay Nielsen [1914]
The History of Make-Believe:
Tacitus on Imperial Rome

by Holly Haynes [2003]
The Pooh Perplex
by Frederick Crews [2003]
Over to You: Ten stories
of fliers and flying

by Roald Dahl [1946]
Pride and Prejudice
by Jane Austen [1813]
The History of Sexuality, Volume I:
An Introduction

by Michel Foucault [1976]
The History of Sexuality, Volume II:
The Use of Pleasure

by Michel Foucault [1985] The History of Sexuality, Volume III:
The Care of the Self

by Michel Foucault [1980]
1976 The Sandman: Endless Nights
by Neil Gaiman [2003]
The Poems of Wilfred Owen
collected by Jon Stallworthy [1986]
Wykked Wyves and the Woes of Marriage:
Misogamous Literature From Juvenal to Chaucer

by Elizabeth M. Makowski and Katharina M. Wilson [1990]
Good Omens: The Nice
and Accurate Prophecies
of Agnes Nutter, Witch

by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman [1990]
Breakfast at Tiffany's
by Truman Capote [1950]
Greek Word Order
by K. J. Dover [1960]
Caesar's Calendar: Ancient Time
and the Beginnings of History

by Denis Feeney [2007]
Latin Language and Latin Culture
from ancient to modern times

by Joseph Farrell [2001]
Old Christmas
by Washington Irving [1824]
The Annals
by Tacitus, A. J. Woodman trans. [2004]
40 Short Stories:
A Portable Anthology, Second Edition

by Beverly Lawn [2004]







HAUNTS:
Archaeology
Get Fuzzy

*TASKS: *
:: read another book ::
:: study, like a good egg ::

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Of course, I did not create this template myself. These people did:

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Prone To Anal Hemorrhaging
Sunday, June 05, 2005

The morning check-in process for three conferences hurt my head- by the end of my two shifts (6:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m.), I had developed an intense stress headache. The following several paragraphs consist of a detailed account of what I did all morning...

In order to get into the building, people need access cards, and then they also require a key, naturally, for their rooms. Normally, these items are neatly packaged in little envelopes; I check off Johnny or Sally's name; Johnny or Sally promptly leave my window and check themselves effortlessly into their rooms.

For one of the conferences, I had neither a roster nor the key packets. First alerted to this slight problem at nine, when a young man desired to check-in, I called my supervisor's cell phone, which he did not answer, then called his other cell phone, which he also decided not to answer. He later told me he had been sleeping and did not receive my messages until one, long after he had already come to the office. Fantastisch.

Thankfully, they were all very meek scholar students, who accepted my movement from initial bafflement to an authoritave, take charge attitude suitable to my post as an almighty Conference Assistant with equanimity. They were all very nice, very Asian, and had very warm, Asian parents. I half-hoped they would find me cute enough to adopt.

Anyhow, I had temporary access cards for the building the girls were in, but the guys will have to wait outside the doors for people coming out, in order to walk into their building (but hopefully only through this evening). The cards they need have their meal plans, as well, which meant I had to inform the dining hall upstairs that these people were coming; they would be hungry; they had paid; please feed them. I had no names, no room assignments, but I at least determined what rooms were to be occupied from peeking into my supervisor's box and scanning through various sheets of correspondence therein. The students apparently come from different organizations and have never met their roommates, but they fortunately all recognized names as I filled out the list, and I managed not to misassign anyone.

Only about eight or nine people participted in Conference The Second, most of those arriving after my shift. Their counselor was a sweet blond girl who had graduated from Tech- all she required was that I call her cell phone as each student arrived, for she had not met any of them and probably needed to give them event schedules and such. However, she owns a Houston area cell, to which the office phone does not dial, and I asked each of her students to call her themselves, a minor snag in the grand scheme of things.

The coordinators of Conference The Third (at least a hundred people) had switched rooms for at least a third of those, and claimed they had sent the revised roster, which, of course, was not to be found. Again, Christopher (my supervisor) remained unavailable for executive comment, so I gave the coordinators their keys, then sat with their revised list and for nearly an hour hand-entered each room change and switched keys from packets, fervently hoping the rooms were not cross-booked.

The coordinator is an oldish woman, her assistant much younger, and her counselors all college students. One of the little counselors came down and requested rather snobbily, but as offhand as possible, that I explain why the office hadn't received the room changes, as though at that point it actually mattered to anyone. I suggested, 'I have no idea, bee-otch' (as there was no confrontational reply, I might only have thought that last, but it was strongly felt).

I later learned from my co-workers that during their shifts, the third group made additional, arbitrary room changes, and placed someone in a room containing bugs (which has been documented, with the bug man due to carry out exterminations at some nebulous time in the future, hence, no one had been assigned that room). Someone actually came to the office and complained, 'You need to tell us about these things beforehand so that we can make room changes'. Steven answered something to the extent that we needed to be notified first of any desire for room changes, to ascertain whether those would be possible, to ensure rooms were prepared, to document key liabilities, et cetera.

Common sense is scarcer than hen's teeth, this coming from someone who jiggled the door handle.

When about nine, I one day encountered toilet overflow (my bowel movements always have been strong), and, unsure how to instigate cessation, proceeded to The Father for a solution. He told me, 'Jiggle the handle.' Looking at him, utterly confused, I nevertheless turned, walked timidly to the bathroom door, and lightly jiggled the handle. I probably did this twice before calling, 'Um, Dad... it's not working.'

Thus, as I carried out these decisions I should not have had to make, I anguished over whether I was doing everything wholly wrong, over whether someone would have to correct a thousand mistaken details behind me, and over whether the nightmare would ever cease. Christopher, because he had been elsewhere the entire time checking in two conferences at the campus apartments, appeared entirely nonchalant and assured me I had executed my position, in light of the situation, superbly. He expressed gratitude that I had not been calling him the entire morning with inane questions.

As he would not have alleviated my concerns immediately, I never called him after nine a.m., for I will not allow myself to be spurned twice. I left messages on his work and personal cell phones, at least one of which he ought to have checked before arriving at the office shortly before noon. I like Chris well enough, as people go, but I cannot help believing perhaps I ought to have his job, and he may have mine, for I would then make more, and he would make less. Call me modest.

I went upstairs to consume a light dinner and encountered Leigh, who operates as a coordinator at Chris' level at the other conference hall. She invited me to sit with them (Leigh, Chris, and a few other summer coordinators), and as she asked about my morning, and I gave her the frank details, she assured me they all appreciate my self-motivated initiative. Coming from Leigh, the compliment felt more genuine, but I suspect Chris will henceforth consider me someone who knows how to problem-solve independently, which is ridiculously far from an accurate assumption of my character (see toilet anecdote above). When I do require assistance or clarification regarding some matter, he hopefully will not find it facetious of me.

Leigh told me she loves me. A good many people, most of them in supervisory positions, tell me that, and yet I feel, somehow... unloved.


    [Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 4:38 PM]





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