Friday, July 31, 2009
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people and include me. You can't use the artist I used. Try not to repeat a song title. Re-post as "my life according to ( artist name )".
I love how my results make it obvious that when I'm alone at night, I cut myself and weep.
Pick your Artist:
Eisbrecher
Are you a Male or a Female:
Schwartze Witwe
Describe Yourself:
Taub-Stumm-Blind
How do you feel:
Kein Mitleid
Describe where you currently live:
1000 Flammen
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Zu sterben
Your Favorite form of Transportation:
Freisturz
Your Best Friend:
Mein Blut
What's the weather like:
Eiskalt Erwischt
If your life were a TV show, what would it be called:
Willkommen im Nichts
Your last relationship:
Das Ende
Your fear:
Angst?
Thought of the Day:
Verdammt sind
My soul's present condition:
Mein Herz Steht Still
My motto:
Vergissmeinnicht
Labels: Eisbrecher, Facebook, German, life, music, quiz, songs, tagging
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 12:53 PM]
Three Strikes
Thursday, July 23, 2009
You've been tagged. You are supposed to write a note with the 4's of YOU. I changed the number from 3, so that you can waste exponentially more time of your life completing this than you would have originally. At the end, choose 20 people to be tagged. You have to tag me. If I tagged you, it's because I want to divert you from anything more important you might be doing instead.
(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 4's of Me, tag 20 people - in the right hand corner of the app - then click publish.)
Four names I go by:
1. Lauree Frances, or just Frances
2. Kadackis (pet name from father)
3. Lauree-Poo (pet name from maternal grandfather)
4. Loquatious (pet name from paternal grandfather)
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. baker
2. Latin instructor
3. knife seller
4. fitting room attendant
Four Dream Jobs:
1. the writer for a graphic comic series, written in Germisch, which combines Friedrich Nietzsche and Winnie-the-Pooh into one character, Nietzsche-Pu, der ist so ein Bär, der kein Verstand hat
2. the surly operator of a scary carnival ride that periodically breaks down
3. baker-Latin instructor-knife seller-fitting room attendant
4. the editor of "Good Housekeeping"
Four Places I Have lived:
1. Katy, Texas
2. St. Louis, Missouri
3. Lubbock, Texas
4. Lexington, Kentucky
Four Favorite Drinks:
1. unsweetened iced tea
2. chocolate milk
3. orange lemonade
4. mocha-flavoured frappuccino with many squirts of orange syrup
Four TV shows that I (used to) watch:
1. This Old House
2. Are You Being Served?
3. Married... With Children
4. Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego?
Four places I have been:
1. The Alamo
2. The house where Abe Lincoln died
3. The Gateway Arch
4. Ft. Walton (Sugar) Beach, Florida
Four people who text me regularly (actually, no one does, because most people know I would kill them):
1. Luci
2. George
3. Kevin
4. Bianca
Four of my favorite dishes:
1. barbequed pulled-pork on anything or by itself
2. mushroom-and-cheese omelettes
3. veal with marinara sauce
4. tuna salad over spinach leaves
Four friends I think will respond:
1. Cheri Grissom
2. Lindsay Sullivan
3. Michael Merrill
4. Sharada Price
Four things I am looking forward to:
1. landing on the cover of the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated
2. revenge
3. taking down the killer squirrels
4. donating my brain for purposes of scientific research
Four Wishes (selfish):
1. that I were independently wealthy
2. that I were independently healthy
3. that I were blissfully unaware of how people violate English rules of the subjunctive
4. that I were not stranded in some random city where I have no friends or connections, after having come there for school and subsequently been dumped from department funding after a few months, which forced me to quit the program
Four Wishes (unselfish):
1. that any kindnesses I could show were worth half as much as those which have been done for me
2. that people would realize altruism does not exist
3. that all cancers and pandemics carried on the winds were eradicated
4. that my little brother, Eddie, find Blackie, the Beanie Baby bear he carried everywhere as a child and has now lost
Four beautiful things:
1. the rosy hue of the light of the setting sun as it passes through the smog surrounding Houston's skyline
2. illuminated manuscripts
3. clear water rippling over rocks in a river bed
4. my ankles
Four favourite flowers:
1. the skunk in Disney's "Bambi"
2. the butter cup of which Gene Wilder takes a bite in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"
3. poppies
4. day lilies
Four things I'd like to own that I never have:
1. the rights to the songs Paul McCartney gave Michael Jackson
2. an ostrich farm
3. a hearse
4. my body, which gets dragged into all kinds of things entirely against my will
Four things I do to procrastinate:
1. curl fetal position on my bed with Kermit the Frog clutched to my chest
2. stare into the mirror as I get ready to go somewhere, zoned out with scripting scenes in which I respond soundly and satisfactorily to all the people, situations, and events which have hurt me or been otherwise disastrous
3. read books or articles about topics entirely unrelated to the subjects I should be learning for school or career purposes
4. scrub things
Labels: Facebook, friends, jobs, list, names, procrastination, quiz, television
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 6:42 PM]
Twenty-One People Meme
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Go through your wall posts and list the last 21 people to post on your wall or comment on your status. Do not list any repeats; simply go to the next name in the list. Then answer the 42 questions pertaining to the 21 names. When you're finished, tag all 21 people on the list, so the cycle can continue. If you've been tagged, copy and paste this information into a new note and follow the directions above.
Note from Lauree: I ignored the above directions, and changed most of the questions.
1 Kristen Raines
2 Bhavin Shah
3 Will Crawford
4 Nick Zammito
5 Anne Gepford
6 Josh Skrobarczyk
7 Sarah Magri
8 A. J. Montes
9 Alicia Freitag
10 Elizabeth Barnes
11 Jen Abraham
12 Rachel Myers
13 Tomas Berdoza
14 Andee Allen
15 Ryan Gallagher
16 Brian Griffey
17 Chris Russell
18 Gilbert Jones
19 Keilah Thompson
20 Kristin Slavin
21 Monet Harkin
1. How did you meet 1? I cannot remember the very first time we met; I saw her around often sophomore year of college, because she was a CA in one of the dorms.
2. What Disney princess would 14 be? Aurora, because I imagine their singing voices are similar.
3. What would your life be like if you had never met 20? I would have thought all architecture students are zombies.
4. Would 8 smoke a joint? ...probably.
5. Would 3 and 13 make a good couple? They might; they both like doing activities out of doors.
6. Describe 9. She is the older sister of a girl I met in college German classes; she is fun to converse with.
7. Could 16 hold on if shot from a cannon? Probably not; he'd be too trashed.
8. Do you think 6 is attractive? I haven't seen him in the flesh since high school, but he was good-looking then.
9. What was the last occasion you had to speak with 19? Facebook-chatting several months ago.
10. Would you go skinny dipping with 15? Only if it were in a public place.
11. Where does 10 live? Currently, Vienna, but her hometown is Lubbock, Texas.
12. What is the best thing about 21? That she and I got along immediately, without seeming to have much in common.
13. What would you like to tell 18 right now? That I am intensely jealous but also glad that he has been in Europe doing research.
14. Where did you meet 7? The Creative Writing Club in high school.
15. What aquatic creature is 15? A dolphin!
16. What's the best memory you have of 13? Shooting the shit about non-academic things during lunch freshman and sophomore year at college.
17. When's the next time you're going to see 12? I have no idea; perhaps if she gets married, or if I join the circus and travel to California.
19. What was your first impression of 4? That he was a stinky-puss grouchy face.
20. What would happen in a fight between 13 and your best friend? My best friend would go down at the first hit.
21. Is 16 more like Donald Duck or Daffy Duck? Donald.
22. When was the last time you saw 14? The Katy High School Speech and Debate end-of-year banquet at Bennigan's in May 2003.
23. What, if given the opportunity, would you steal from 21's house? A pair of her shoes.
24. When is the next time you'll see 10? Hopefully this summer, if I round up the funds to visit Lubbock.
25. Are you really close to 1? No, but we're still really friendly.
26. How would you and 20 take over the world? Handheld firearms.
27. Have you ever been to 17's house? Nope.
28. Is 5 more like Lucy or Ricky? She'd probably be the Ricky in a relationship.
29. Describe the relationship between 14 and 19. They both have naturally pretty faces, without having to wear make-up to go out.
30. What's your friendship like with 5? We both like to talk, especially about the long wait for school to end.
31. Does 18 know a foreign language? He speaks at least two and probably reads more.
32. How do you know 21? We both took a required business communications course a year and-a-half ago.
33. Does 2 wear boxers or briefs? Though I have never been in a position to confirm, I suspect he wears boxers.
34. Have you ever wanted to sock 4 in the neck? It's softer than his head.
35. Could 11 date your sister? Probably not; I discern a clash or two.
36. Have you traveled anywhere with 12? No long distances, although she did pick me up to take me to my apartment once on a rainy afternoon.
37. If you gave 3 $100, what would they do with it? Put it toward rent, or maybe a bike accessory.
38. What's your best memory of 2? Being calm while everyone else at work partook in work-related drama.
39. What is the one thing you most want 8 to know? That I was impressed by his story about holding out in one room for days with no sleep.
40. What was the last thing you did with 16? Chatted with him at a friend's party.
41. When did you meet 20? We worked together in 2006 at Texas Tech.
42. What do you wish for 6? All the best with his documentary.
Labels: directions, Facebook, friends, list, meme, quiz
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 2:39 PM]
Die Verschwörung
Friday, January 30, 2009
Only a person without a soul would pass this crap along. Naturally, I've tagged as many people as possible. Think of this, o dear "friends", more as being "stabbed".
What does your music library say about you?
--------------------------
1. Put Your iTunes on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Tag at least 10 friends
--------------------------
What do your friends think of you?
Zeichen der Venus
[Probably not so much.]
If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
Etwas Geld
[I am a mooch.]
How would you describe yourself?
The Small House of Uncle Thomas
[I am emancipated.]
What do you like in a guy/girl?
Shadowboxer
How do you feel today?
Breathtaker
What is your life’s purpose?
Sentimental Journey
What is your motto?
I've Got You Under My Skin
What do you think about very often?
Die durch die Hölle gehen
[Das Leben ist mir die Hölle.]
What is 2 + 2?
Liebe Mich Leben
What do you think of your best friend?
The Letter
What do you think of the person you like?
It's Only A Paper Moon
What is your life story?
Bock Bier Polka
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Vdol' pa ulitse (A Snowstorm Blows)
What do you think of when you see the person you like?
We're Off To See The Wizard (Duo)
What will you dance to at your wedding?
Wie Tief
What will they play at your funeral?
Let The Planets Burn
What is your hobby/interest?
Fikk Dich Mit Fire
What is your biggest fear?
Stress Pill
What is your biggest secret?
War
What do you think of your friends?
Im Inneren Der Stadt
What will you post this as?
Die Verschwörung
This is representative of the music I work out to: German metal and Ella Fitzgerald, with other stuff sprinkled in. If you had my metabolism, you'd be moody all the time, too.
Labels: Facebook, friends, German, iTunes, list, songs
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:07 PM]
Ten Traumatizations
Monday, January 26, 2009
Since my goals are worthless, I decided to put a twist on this tagging-of-one's-friends trend: I am only tagging people I have ostensibly Facebook befriended, but whom I actually despise. I hold my friends close, but my enemies closer. And rather than life goals or fun facts, I am posting a much-abridged list of the things that account for the more bizarre aspects of my personality development. If you've been tagged (think of it more as "jabbed"), you have to come up with your own list of sorrows, traumatizations, and unhappy memories.
1. When I was five or six, I wrote on some bureaucratic form or other, under "Race:", that I was "apricot" (this being the only crayon in the box that appoximated any part of my flesh). The teacher told me that was wrong, and that I am "white".
2. At some point in elementary school, I was told that the British spelling of any English word is incorrect. So I make it a point to write "flavour", "colour", and "storey" in all formal compositions.
3. I cannot rollerblade, because when we were little, my mother wouldn't let my siblings or me own rollerblades. We could have fallen and cracked our skulls open. The same reason accounts for why I have never attempted to skateboard, shoot a gun, climb trees, scuba dive, or have sex. I'd fall and crack my skull open.
4. One morning in junior high, I refused to attend church anymore. My dad threatened to beat me if I didn't go, so I locked myself in the master bathroom until it was safe to emerge. Now, whenever someone suggests taking me to a religious function, my heart rate increases, and I feel the need to urinate.
5. I never used to talk to people, because I could not come up with anything to discuss that wasn't vain. Now I simply proffer the most shallow of matters at the beginning of all conversations, to be rid of that anxiety. Sometimes the problem arises therefrom, of people trying to fill my vacuous mind with their bullshit. No matter. It all leaks out my ears eventually.
6. I spend so much time discussing all the things I would like to do that I wind up doing nothing but complaining about not getting to do all of the things I seem not to have time to do.
7. I did not ride off merrily down the street the very first time someone (my grandma) tried teaching me how to ride a bicycle (my older sister and a couple of cousins were there taunting me), so I quit trying, not teaching myself until I was about ten. Since my parents didn't let me cross the street until I was fifteen, I rarely rode a bike until college. Even after the regular use of a bicycle for about three years, I still feel nervous riding them (and I imagine everyone laughs inwardly if not outwardly at me as I pedal by, because I must look goofy).
8. When I was six or seven and she eight or nine, my older sister announced to everyone in her class at lunch or at the playground one afternoon that I was a bedwetter. Someday I am going to kill her.
9. I took clarinet in band in sixth grade, using the one my mom had used from elementary school onward. After she died (when I was thirteen), I kept the clarinet, even though I stopped playing. Every time I look at the dusty green case, which I always shove in some corner of the room I occupy, I think about all the things I could have been, but am not and never will be.
10. I did not cry when Bambi's mother died.
Labels: anxiety, bathrom, beating, bedwetting, clarinet, death, Facebook, father, friends, mother, sorrow, tagging, trauma
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 8:06 PM]
Refuse To Reuse
Friday, July 04, 2008
Write the names of the last twenty people who have written on your Facebook wall, and answer the questions below. Then, tag each of them, to be obnoxious.
1. Justin Yost
2. Maria Pia Guerbet
3. Amanda Lee Morris
4. Jon David McCurdy
5. Jeremy Leffingwell
6. Jessica Bartek
7. Tim Knight
8. Steve Ryan
9. Kailey Keith
10. Elizabeth Barnes
11. Megan Parker
12. Stephen Bermudez
13. Luke Edward Stuckey
14. Daren Loney
15. Edward Keith
16. Brad Schuck
17. Bianca Mercado
18. Emily Diane Koch
19. Martha Hoskins
20. Cheri Grissom
*How did you meet 7?
He was the teaching assistant for the ancient sports and public spectacles class I took freshman year.
*What would you do if you had never met 18?
I would not have known how heavily in love a twelve year-old girl could fall with Dave Grohl.
*What would you do if you dated 15?
I would be in an incestuous relationship!
*Have you ever seen 17 cry?
Nope.
*Would 4 and 16 make a good couple?
Yes. They're both handsome, resourceful, and outdoors-y.
*Do you like 19?
Natürlich. Sie ist schön und talentiert.
*Do you think 13 is attractive?
Yep. Luke Edward Stuckey has always been a ladies' man.
*When was the last time you talked to 9?
A couple of days ago on Facebook; maybe a couple of years voice-to-ear.
*Would you ever date 2?
Probably not.
*Where does 20 live?
Lubbock, Texas- the buttcrack of America.
*What is the best thing about 4?
His extensive knowledge about chemical weapons.
*What would you like to tell 10 right now?
That I am in love with her. The two of us should elope to Austria.
*What is the best thing about 20?
We can speak linguistics lingo together.
*Have you ever kissed 18?
No, but I would gladly make a trip to California for the sole purpose of doing so.
*What's the best memory you have of 5?
Making fun of people at high school prom.
*When's the next time you’re going to see 12?
In my dreams.
*Is 3 pretty?
Yes. Everybody be givin' Amanda eyes.
*What was your first impression of 15?
I first saw Eddie as an infant in his crib, when I was seven. I recall that he was very red, and I reached in to pet him because he looked soft and delicate.
*How did you meet 2?
We still haven't met in person... but we'll meet in less than a month, at grad school.
*Is 12 your best friend?
Nope, but he's pretty high up on The Toleration Scale.
*Have you seen 6 in the last month?
Nope. It's been five years.
*When was the last time you saw 16?
Probably at Project Graduation at the end of high school.
*Have you been to 9's house?
Kailey doesn't own the house, but yes, I've been. I was only too happy to leave.
*When is the next time you'll see 10?
Probably sometime this weekend.
*Are you really close to 6?
Nope, but it's okay. We haven't seen each other for a long time, but we can still talk with no problem.
*Have you been to the movies with 11?
Nope.
*Would you give 13 a hug?
I reserve hugging for special people, and Luke is one of the few to make the list.
*When have you lied to 17?
Never. I merely exaggerate or embellish.
*Do you know a secret about 8?
No; if I knew, then it wouldn't be a secret.
*Describe the relationship between 12 and 19.
There is none that I know of. I think they both like pets.
*What's your friendship like with 7?
Remote at present, but we saw each other weekly a couple of years ago.
*Have you ever danced with 14?
No, for that would be an odd, freaky dance.
*How long have you known 13?
Since freshman year of high school, taking a Latin class together. Nine years. Crap, are we old.
*Does 11 have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
I believe she is presently single.
*Have you ever wanted to punch 17 in the face?
Yes, but I refrained.
*Has 20 met your mother?
Nope. My mother died before I met Cheri.
*How did you meet 10?
A couple of years ago, she and her boyfriend came over to chat with someone I was sitting with at a coffee shop. I remember she talked about what she was doing at the moment in holocaust studies.
*Have you traveled anywhere with 8?
Only so far as the couch in the foreign languages building. It's the only place I've travelled.
*If you gave 4 $100, what would they spend it on?
Soy milk, a twenty-pack of Pepsi, and buffalo wild wings.
*What is your best memory of 1?
All the times he buys me dinner.
Labels: Facebook, friends, tagging
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 7:05 PM]