Friday, July 31, 2009
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people and include me. You can't use the artist I used. Try not to repeat a song title. Re-post as "my life according to ( artist name )".
I love how my results make it obvious that when I'm alone at night, I cut myself and weep.
Pick your Artist:
Eisbrecher
Are you a Male or a Female:
Schwartze Witwe
Describe Yourself:
Taub-Stumm-Blind
How do you feel:
Kein Mitleid
Describe where you currently live:
1000 Flammen
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Zu sterben
Your Favorite form of Transportation:
Freisturz
Your Best Friend:
Mein Blut
What's the weather like:
Eiskalt Erwischt
If your life were a TV show, what would it be called:
Willkommen im Nichts
Your last relationship:
Das Ende
Your fear:
Angst?
Thought of the Day:
Verdammt sind
My soul's present condition:
Mein Herz Steht Still
My motto:
Vergissmeinnicht
Labels: Eisbrecher, Facebook, German, life, music, quiz, songs, tagging
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 12:53 PM]
Ten Traumatizations
Monday, January 26, 2009
Since my goals are worthless, I decided to put a twist on this tagging-of-one's-friends trend: I am only tagging people I have ostensibly Facebook befriended, but whom I actually despise. I hold my friends close, but my enemies closer. And rather than life goals or fun facts, I am posting a much-abridged list of the things that account for the more bizarre aspects of my personality development. If you've been tagged (think of it more as "jabbed"), you have to come up with your own list of sorrows, traumatizations, and unhappy memories.
1. When I was five or six, I wrote on some bureaucratic form or other, under "Race:", that I was "apricot" (this being the only crayon in the box that appoximated any part of my flesh). The teacher told me that was wrong, and that I am "white".
2. At some point in elementary school, I was told that the British spelling of any English word is incorrect. So I make it a point to write "flavour", "colour", and "storey" in all formal compositions.
3. I cannot rollerblade, because when we were little, my mother wouldn't let my siblings or me own rollerblades. We could have fallen and cracked our skulls open. The same reason accounts for why I have never attempted to skateboard, shoot a gun, climb trees, scuba dive, or have sex. I'd fall and crack my skull open.
4. One morning in junior high, I refused to attend church anymore. My dad threatened to beat me if I didn't go, so I locked myself in the master bathroom until it was safe to emerge. Now, whenever someone suggests taking me to a religious function, my heart rate increases, and I feel the need to urinate.
5. I never used to talk to people, because I could not come up with anything to discuss that wasn't vain. Now I simply proffer the most shallow of matters at the beginning of all conversations, to be rid of that anxiety. Sometimes the problem arises therefrom, of people trying to fill my vacuous mind with their bullshit. No matter. It all leaks out my ears eventually.
6. I spend so much time discussing all the things I would like to do that I wind up doing nothing but complaining about not getting to do all of the things I seem not to have time to do.
7. I did not ride off merrily down the street the very first time someone (my grandma) tried teaching me how to ride a bicycle (my older sister and a couple of cousins were there taunting me), so I quit trying, not teaching myself until I was about ten. Since my parents didn't let me cross the street until I was fifteen, I rarely rode a bike until college. Even after the regular use of a bicycle for about three years, I still feel nervous riding them (and I imagine everyone laughs inwardly if not outwardly at me as I pedal by, because I must look goofy).
8. When I was six or seven and she eight or nine, my older sister announced to everyone in her class at lunch or at the playground one afternoon that I was a bedwetter. Someday I am going to kill her.
9. I took clarinet in band in sixth grade, using the one my mom had used from elementary school onward. After she died (when I was thirteen), I kept the clarinet, even though I stopped playing. Every time I look at the dusty green case, which I always shove in some corner of the room I occupy, I think about all the things I could have been, but am not and never will be.
10. I did not cry when Bambi's mother died.
Labels: anxiety, bathrom, beating, bedwetting, clarinet, death, Facebook, father, friends, mother, sorrow, tagging, trauma
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 8:06 PM]
Refuse To Reuse
Friday, July 04, 2008
Write the names of the last twenty people who have written on your Facebook wall, and answer the questions below. Then, tag each of them, to be obnoxious.
1. Justin Yost
2. Maria Pia Guerbet
3. Amanda Lee Morris
4. Jon David McCurdy
5. Jeremy Leffingwell
6. Jessica Bartek
7. Tim Knight
8. Steve Ryan
9. Kailey Keith
10. Elizabeth Barnes
11. Megan Parker
12. Stephen Bermudez
13. Luke Edward Stuckey
14. Daren Loney
15. Edward Keith
16. Brad Schuck
17. Bianca Mercado
18. Emily Diane Koch
19. Martha Hoskins
20. Cheri Grissom
*How did you meet 7?
He was the teaching assistant for the ancient sports and public spectacles class I took freshman year.
*What would you do if you had never met 18?
I would not have known how heavily in love a twelve year-old girl could fall with Dave Grohl.
*What would you do if you dated 15?
I would be in an incestuous relationship!
*Have you ever seen 17 cry?
Nope.
*Would 4 and 16 make a good couple?
Yes. They're both handsome, resourceful, and outdoors-y.
*Do you like 19?
Natürlich. Sie ist schön und talentiert.
*Do you think 13 is attractive?
Yep. Luke Edward Stuckey has always been a ladies' man.
*When was the last time you talked to 9?
A couple of days ago on Facebook; maybe a couple of years voice-to-ear.
*Would you ever date 2?
Probably not.
*Where does 20 live?
Lubbock, Texas- the buttcrack of America.
*What is the best thing about 4?
His extensive knowledge about chemical weapons.
*What would you like to tell 10 right now?
That I am in love with her. The two of us should elope to Austria.
*What is the best thing about 20?
We can speak linguistics lingo together.
*Have you ever kissed 18?
No, but I would gladly make a trip to California for the sole purpose of doing so.
*What's the best memory you have of 5?
Making fun of people at high school prom.
*When's the next time you’re going to see 12?
In my dreams.
*Is 3 pretty?
Yes. Everybody be givin' Amanda eyes.
*What was your first impression of 15?
I first saw Eddie as an infant in his crib, when I was seven. I recall that he was very red, and I reached in to pet him because he looked soft and delicate.
*How did you meet 2?
We still haven't met in person... but we'll meet in less than a month, at grad school.
*Is 12 your best friend?
Nope, but he's pretty high up on The Toleration Scale.
*Have you seen 6 in the last month?
Nope. It's been five years.
*When was the last time you saw 16?
Probably at Project Graduation at the end of high school.
*Have you been to 9's house?
Kailey doesn't own the house, but yes, I've been. I was only too happy to leave.
*When is the next time you'll see 10?
Probably sometime this weekend.
*Are you really close to 6?
Nope, but it's okay. We haven't seen each other for a long time, but we can still talk with no problem.
*Have you been to the movies with 11?
Nope.
*Would you give 13 a hug?
I reserve hugging for special people, and Luke is one of the few to make the list.
*When have you lied to 17?
Never. I merely exaggerate or embellish.
*Do you know a secret about 8?
No; if I knew, then it wouldn't be a secret.
*Describe the relationship between 12 and 19.
There is none that I know of. I think they both like pets.
*What's your friendship like with 7?
Remote at present, but we saw each other weekly a couple of years ago.
*Have you ever danced with 14?
No, for that would be an odd, freaky dance.
*How long have you known 13?
Since freshman year of high school, taking a Latin class together. Nine years. Crap, are we old.
*Does 11 have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
I believe she is presently single.
*Have you ever wanted to punch 17 in the face?
Yes, but I refrained.
*Has 20 met your mother?
Nope. My mother died before I met Cheri.
*How did you meet 10?
A couple of years ago, she and her boyfriend came over to chat with someone I was sitting with at a coffee shop. I remember she talked about what she was doing at the moment in holocaust studies.
*Have you traveled anywhere with 8?
Only so far as the couch in the foreign languages building. It's the only place I've travelled.
*If you gave 4 $100, what would they spend it on?
Soy milk, a twenty-pack of Pepsi, and buffalo wild wings.
*What is your best memory of 1?
All the times he buys me dinner.
Labels: Facebook, friends, tagging
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 7:05 PM]