Sunday, April 26, 2009
Go through your wall posts and list the last 21 people to post on your wall or comment on your status. Do not list any repeats; simply go to the next name in the list. Then answer the 42 questions pertaining to the 21 names. When you're finished, tag all 21 people on the list, so the cycle can continue. If you've been tagged, copy and paste this information into a new note and follow the directions above.
Note from Lauree: I ignored the above directions, and changed most of the questions.
1 Kristen Raines
2 Bhavin Shah
3 Will Crawford
4 Nick Zammito
5 Anne Gepford
6 Josh Skrobarczyk
7 Sarah Magri
8 A. J. Montes
9 Alicia Freitag
10 Elizabeth Barnes
11 Jen Abraham
12 Rachel Myers
13 Tomas Berdoza
14 Andee Allen
15 Ryan Gallagher
16 Brian Griffey
17 Chris Russell
18 Gilbert Jones
19 Keilah Thompson
20 Kristin Slavin
21 Monet Harkin
1. How did you meet 1? I cannot remember the very first time we met; I saw her around often sophomore year of college, because she was a CA in one of the dorms.
2. What Disney princess would 14 be? Aurora, because I imagine their singing voices are similar.
3. What would your life be like if you had never met 20? I would have thought all architecture students are zombies.
4. Would 8 smoke a joint? ...probably.
5. Would 3 and 13 make a good couple? They might; they both like doing activities out of doors.
6. Describe 9. She is the older sister of a girl I met in college German classes; she is fun to converse with.
7. Could 16 hold on if shot from a cannon? Probably not; he'd be too trashed.
8. Do you think 6 is attractive? I haven't seen him in the flesh since high school, but he was good-looking then.
9. What was the last occasion you had to speak with 19? Facebook-chatting several months ago.
10. Would you go skinny dipping with 15? Only if it were in a public place.
11. Where does 10 live? Currently, Vienna, but her hometown is Lubbock, Texas.
12. What is the best thing about 21? That she and I got along immediately, without seeming to have much in common.
13. What would you like to tell 18 right now? That I am intensely jealous but also glad that he has been in Europe doing research.
14. Where did you meet 7? The Creative Writing Club in high school.
15. What aquatic creature is 15? A dolphin!
16. What's the best memory you have of 13? Shooting the shit about non-academic things during lunch freshman and sophomore year at college.
17. When's the next time you're going to see 12? I have no idea; perhaps if she gets married, or if I join the circus and travel to California.
19. What was your first impression of 4? That he was a stinky-puss grouchy face.
20. What would happen in a fight between 13 and your best friend? My best friend would go down at the first hit.
21. Is 16 more like Donald Duck or Daffy Duck? Donald.
22. When was the last time you saw 14? The Katy High School Speech and Debate end-of-year banquet at Bennigan's in May 2003.
23. What, if given the opportunity, would you steal from 21's house? A pair of her shoes.
24. When is the next time you'll see 10? Hopefully this summer, if I round up the funds to visit Lubbock.
25. Are you really close to 1? No, but we're still really friendly.
26. How would you and 20 take over the world? Handheld firearms.
27. Have you ever been to 17's house? Nope.
28. Is 5 more like Lucy or Ricky? She'd probably be the Ricky in a relationship.
29. Describe the relationship between 14 and 19. They both have naturally pretty faces, without having to wear make-up to go out.
30. What's your friendship like with 5? We both like to talk, especially about the long wait for school to end.
31. Does 18 know a foreign language? He speaks at least two and probably reads more.
32. How do you know 21? We both took a required business communications course a year and-a-half ago.
33. Does 2 wear boxers or briefs? Though I have never been in a position to confirm, I suspect he wears boxers.
34. Have you ever wanted to sock 4 in the neck? It's softer than his head.
35. Could 11 date your sister? Probably not; I discern a clash or two.
36. Have you traveled anywhere with 12? No long distances, although she did pick me up to take me to my apartment once on a rainy afternoon.
37. If you gave 3 $100, what would they do with it? Put it toward rent, or maybe a bike accessory.
38. What's your best memory of 2? Being calm while everyone else at work partook in work-related drama.
39. What is the one thing you most want 8 to know? That I was impressed by his story about holding out in one room for days with no sleep.
40. What was the last thing you did with 16? Chatted with him at a friend's party.
41. When did you meet 20? We worked together in 2006 at Texas Tech.
42. What do you wish for 6? All the best with his documentary.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 2:39 PM]
Die Verschwörung
Friday, January 30, 2009
Only a person without a soul would pass this crap along. Naturally, I've tagged as many people as possible. Think of this, o dear "friends", more as being "stabbed".
What does your music library say about you?
--------------------------
1. Put Your iTunes on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Tag at least 10 friends
--------------------------
What do your friends think of you?
Zeichen der Venus
[Probably not so much.]
If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
Etwas Geld
[I am a mooch.]
How would you describe yourself?
The Small House of Uncle Thomas
[I am emancipated.]
What do you like in a guy/girl?
Shadowboxer
How do you feel today?
Breathtaker
What is your life’s purpose?
Sentimental Journey
What is your motto?
I've Got You Under My Skin
What do you think about very often?
Die durch die Hölle gehen
[Das Leben ist mir die Hölle.]
What is 2 + 2?
Liebe Mich Leben
What do you think of your best friend?
The Letter
What do you think of the person you like?
It's Only A Paper Moon
What is your life story?
Bock Bier Polka
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Vdol' pa ulitse (A Snowstorm Blows)
What do you think of when you see the person you like?
We're Off To See The Wizard (Duo)
What will you dance to at your wedding?
Wie Tief
What will they play at your funeral?
Let The Planets Burn
What is your hobby/interest?
Fikk Dich Mit Fire
What is your biggest fear?
Stress Pill
What is your biggest secret?
War
What do you think of your friends?
Im Inneren Der Stadt
What will you post this as?
Die Verschwörung
This is representative of the music I work out to: German metal and Ella Fitzgerald, with other stuff sprinkled in. If you had my metabolism, you'd be moody all the time, too.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:07 PM]
Pawning The Guitar
Monday, January 05, 2009
Last night I felt like a pile of sludge, so after working out briefly this morning I spent a couple of hours cleaning like a mad housewife. It seems counter-intuitive that scrubbing stray hairs from behind a toilet should make me feel better about life; they could gather together into a massive brown tumbleweed, for all I really care. I only dislike the idea of having to push aside a hair forest every time I make water.
Pars prima of my errand-running for the afternoon consists in purging myself of a few books that I do not particularly need. The list:
Elie Wiesel- NightMost of these I read in high school and have clung to for little reason, other than especially liking them. But let some other kid read them fo' cheaps. I had two copies of Tess, which is probably unnecessary.
Harper Lee- To Kill A Mockingbird
Lord Byron- Byron's Poetry
Barbara Ehrenreich- Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America
Thomas Keneally- A River Town
Elizabeth Winthrop- The Castle in the Attic
Jerry Spinelli- Maniac Magee
F. Scott Fitzgerald- Flappers and Philosophers
Robert Cormier- Tenderness
Thomas Hardy- Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Anzia Yezierska- Bread Givers
Thomas Keneally- Schindler's List
My housemate has mentioned I may have his old bike, which needs tire replacements; if this does not prove costly, I will wheel it down to the shop (pars secunda).
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 10:43 AM]
A Wife Is For One Who Is Too Scared To Sleep Alone At Night
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I graded the final exams yesterday, input grades, and posted them. Two people failed (although by the University scale, they made D grades). Both students missed too many classes to catch up fully; the male buckled down toward the end and made good grades, but the female continued to miss class. Grade distribution was as expected: mostly As, a couple of Bs, and a couple of Cs.
The last five final exam questions were fill-in-the-blank about mythology. Last question: Actaeon came upon Artemis _________________ in a spring. One person wrote, "fornicating" and another wrote, "making love".
"The virgin goddess!" I exclaimed in the TA office. I was then gently reminded about sexual relations among females, which turned into a hunt for the lexicography of τριβησ. Nevertheless, I counted the above answers incorrect, considering neither student would have made an argumentum e silentio if called upon to defend.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 3:21 AM]
saepe ambulabam cum luna erat clara
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Since in the past two weeks, when we were supposed to have been meeting consistently thrice per week, we had only met once, and this week I will have to cancel at least two sessions, yesterday I sent the young man whom I am supposed to be tutoring classical Greek a regretful e-mail permanently suspending our arrangements. He hardly needs my guidance; when I asked him to explain the dative of respect, for instance, he articulated the concept better than I could have. He just needs self-motivation and discipline to develop a more consistent study routine, which is, of course, ultimately something I cannot do for him.
On that note, I have become friendly with Latin grammars lately, since I never look anything up and have relied almost solely on trying to understand things from context. Now I think I know how to use a gerund. fortasse.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 3:55 AM]
Lesen Sie Mal
Friday, November 28, 2008
Unless memory fails, there exists not a single family photograph of my parents embracing each other with any degree of positive emotion. I could be incorrect; maybe one of my aunts has photographs about which I am unaware, but from what I recollect out of our photo albums, for any photograph involving both parents, they are standing apart (huge family gathering) or side-by-side, but not acknowledging each other. Pictures of myself with any of my four siblings also convey distant attitudes. We might be touching, and there might be smiles, but someone is getting pinched.
I was viewing various Thanksgiving Day 2008 photographs friends have already posted, and for all of them, I sensed something odd. Hugging, I finally realized, my friend's parents are hugging. This is what people who like each other a lot do. A thirty-minute voyeuristic search for happiness ensued. I shook my laptop upside-down in the air a few times, thinking love would fall out of it, but, as usual, the only feeling the computer emits for me to seize upon is frustration.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 3:46 AM]
Less Than A Month Until I Am Rid Of My Little Effer
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Although the annual, official celebration of toilets occurred earlier this week, now seems the best time to reflect on how drastically different life would be had I never sat upon or viewed one, for after what I ate for dinner this evening, tomorrow will be a day spent intimately with that which receives the feasts of my bowels.
The non-existence of such receptacles as toilets would necessarily have precluded the existence of my neurotic fear that an over-sized spider will crawl out of one, bite a chunk out of my ass, and bring about an agonizing and premature, though somewhat comic, death. I saw Arachnephobia when I was six or seven, and never since have I failed to check under, over, around, down, into, and through for spiders or other potential death-causing beasts.
Were the world bereft of toilets, I would not be as well-versed in English poetry, for the toilet has been where I tend to read such material: poetry differs in density, as does a cheeseburger or a blueberry that has passed through my digestive system. With a poetry anthology, therefore, one may consume it in one sitting, or interrupt it and return later without completely severing the flow of thoughts required for reading the entire text. Prose literature-reading on the toilet hardly ever works.
To discuss this further would be to digress farther from the task of gathering research material for a paper I am supposed to have been writing all semester.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 4:47 PM]
I Woke Up This Morning, And My Penis Was Missing
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Ich habe diesem morgen aufgewacht, um zu finden, daß ich eine geschlagene Stunde mehr haben. Ich soll meine Uhr stellen.
Jetzt kann ich weiter den Iliad lesen, die Werke Juvenals weiter bilden und ins Papier beschreiben, einen Netflix-Film ansehen, den Penthesilea Kleists weiter lesen... aber vielleicht werde ich nichts machen.
de latineque graece studiosa sum, sed non satis. linguae declinationum sunt difficiles. meh.
With the unwritten paper concerning the hundreds of manuscripts of Juvenal floating around, for which I have conducted not nearly enough fruitful research, looming over me in an almost physical sense, I took about three hours of this afternoon (mentally discounting one of them) to work out and swim at the student recreation center. The past two days I haven't moved much, reading and taking notes on points of Latin grammar for which my knowledge and comprehension are wanting. Swimming about fifteen (I did not count them) Olympic laps improves the posture.
Beforehand I listened to The Wizard of Oz soundtrack on an elliptical machine, then read the next two acts in Kleist's Penthesilea on a recumbent bike. I had forgotten how well such a combination helps me focus; after having exercised this way for three years, my body usually doesn't become too worn out, especially since I no longer work at a forty-hour week job that requires I stand on my feet six or eight hours straight. Granted, thinking rationally still comes with difficulty, but now it at least comes occasionally. Freshman and sophomore year I almost never dreamt.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 1:29 PM]
Uh-Oh Spaghettio
Friday, October 31, 2008
I do not celebrate Halloween, but I bought a couple of bags of candy in the unlikely event some little monsters might darken my door. Being sent away empty-handed, these hoodlums might have returned loaded with flaming pies to hurl on my porch. The night has passed without incident, and with only two high-school girls (in UK sweaters: "We dressed as college students") stopping by the entire evening. This leaves a bowl full of Snickers and Hershey's minis to be consumed. Am morgen I'll dump it on the neighbor's lawn, for those little munchkins to devour.
I do not like children.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 8:19 PM]
It Could All Go Up In Flames
Saturday, October 25, 2008
The space-heater in my bedroom must not be situated within three feet of anything, particularly, anything inflammable. Upon survey of my room, one discerns first the futon mattress on the floor. Next one may note the disassembled, wooden futon frame stacked to one side below the windows looking out onto nothing but the ivy that covers the side of the house. To the right, behind the space heater, stands a near-ceiling-high wooden bookshelf, containing at least two hundred books. On the floor, to one side, binders, documents, and more books (mostly dictionaries and writing supplements) rest neatly, if undecorously. On the mattress are piled six stacks of books and notebooks relating to my graduate classes and the section of beginning Latin I teach. If I shift heavily in sleep, these will bury me. If the space heater sets them alight, they will bury me in flames.
I spent the day reading about medieval archaeology and prosopography. At midday I broke off on a walk to the student recreation center, to read the first act of Kleist's Penthesileia on a recumbent bike, and then to swim about twenty laps. All this conducted in blissful solitude.
I do not like anyone.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 5:22 PM]
Give Me Back My Stapler
Friday, October 17, 2008
I know not what my sister's boyfriend's buttons signify. Ich weiß nur, daß meine Mitstudenten und der Professor gepflegt diesen Knopfen tragen. I brought them to class this afternoon, because a few weeks ago Professor Rabel noticed them on my hat and inquired as to their significance. I interpolate something with respect to Angst or Schadenfreude, aber wer weiß? I am content merely with wearing them; I provided them to my Greek professor and classmates in the hope that perhaps the true meaning of these buttons would one day illuminate them.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 7:28 PM]
A Huge Financial Rescue Plan
Monday, September 29, 2008
Yesterday, avoiding any real work, I prepared wraps and salads to bring campusward for lunch this week. Unless something is fixed beforehand, I spend money on over-priced campus food. No bueno.
This morning I weighed in at 144, drained overnight by all the caffeinated diuretics imbibed this weekend to keep me awake as I read the first of a most boring commentary for the manuscripts class. The online reading failed to impress also.
Sleeptime.
[Lauree Frances Keith concluded this diatribe at 3:12 AM]